"Do unto others, then run."
- Benny Hill
The late mister Hill was responsible for one of the worst beatings in my life, though not directly so. As a young lad of about ten, I would stay up late on Saturday nights and watch "The Benny Hill Show", much to my parents dismay. At that age I thought Benny stood at the apex of comedy in the western hemisphere, perhaps the world. A young boy could only handle so much sexual innuendo and attractive women, especially on TV!
One particular Saturday, Benny ran a sketch that involved a priest on a talk show with the fly to his pants undone and his underwear exposed for the audience to see. Of course, any questions that were asked to him would be indirectly related to his open fly. "The Catholic church should let it all hang out...", and so on. So impressed by this piece of comedy gold (which still holds some magic to it 30 years later), I decided to share this sketch with my younger sister.
In the car. On a Sunday. On the way home from Catholic mass.
I'm sure you've heard the expression, "stop on a dime", but I never knew what that actually meant until then. My mother, who was behind the wheel, shot one eyeball into the rear view mirror upon hearing my sister giggling uncontrollably. There I was, in mid-sketch with my fly undone and my Underoos exposed. Failing to see the humor of me imitating a Catholic priest with an open fly only moments after receiving the Body of Christ, she took a multi ton vehicle from 35mph to a dead stop in the blink of an eye.
Before I could even zip up, she catapulted over the front seat like an Olympic high jumper to get at me. I don't remember much after that, except for my sister crying and my mother chanting, "I'll let it all hang out!" over and over as she hit me. Needless to say, I wouldn't be watching Benny again for quite some time. However, there is one thing that I would never stop doing.
I would never stop laughing.
A sense of humor is one of the most important weapons in your arsenal as you move down the path. The world's a pretty funny place, and I learned early on how valuable the healing power of laughter can be. Despite my mother's objection to the Sunday morning Benny show, she actually had a keen sense of humor, and that's one of the more positive traits my sister and I inherited from her as we grew up.
I've learned to see the humor in all things. Having traversed some dark paths in my life, I can say with certainty that laughter has been a shining light in the blackness. It generates a significant amount of positive energy, which helps to maintain the balance of the soul. It has kept me youthful, energetic, and Zen.
When was the last time you laughed really hard? I mean, really hard, like can't breathe, tears streaming down the face, hard? If you can't recall, then it's been too long, and you need to laugh. Right now. There's plenty of funny material to be found out there, from the intelligent musings of the Monty Python troupe, all the way down to the vulgar diatribes of Katt Williams. There's something funny for everyone. Regardless of how difficult you believe your life is, a good laugh will make it a bit less difficult.
Even hearing someone else's laughter can be healing. I recently heard my copilot's true laughter, the 'from the gut' laughter, that filled the room as we watched a stand up comedian on TV. It was the first time I had heard this from her soul, and I can still hear it in my head even now, several months later. You know what that does?
It puts a smile on my face. Makes my world a little brighter.
Listen to the laughter from others, especially children. Find the laughter within yourself, and let it out. Let your soul be nourished by the humor of the 'Verse.
Perhaps you could even watch some Benny Hill. Just make sure mom is not around.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Places And Movements
"When I find a Place, I definitely feel the presence of God. Be it alone on a mountaintop, or surrounded by noisy tourists in the dampness of the Roslyn Chapel. It's like no other peace. No other happiness."
The above quote is paraphrased from a recent Facebook entry, and I wanted to pause to reflect on this moment of Zen. There's a certain interconnectedness that binds us all together in the 'Verse. On a molecular level, we all share the same building blocks of our existence. The chair you're seated in, the ground, the trees. We're all related to them, a part of them. They are extensions of ourselves, and we extensions of them. So when we come upon one of these external Places, we are in fact finding the calm within our soul. The eye of the storm, so to speak. With so much distraction and noise surrounding us on a daily basis, finding a Place becomes a necessity (even if we aren't consciously searching for one), so that we may rebalance the self.
However, maybe it's not so much about 'finding' as it is about 'allowing' ourselves to be in that Place. There is no external force exerting its will upon us, no revealing of a special Place for the unworthy. We are the ones who move the chess pieces of our lives. We are responsible for all that is around us. Finding a Place is simply our desire for the soul to take a deep breath and allow itself to be in the moment.
As I stood atop a mountain recently and gazed across the valley below, I allowed myself to be in a Place. I acknowledged the interconnectedness of me to the rustling trees, the warm sun, the silence of the mountaintop. 'God' was not an absentee landlord. 'He' was there as I was there. 'God' is us. We can create these 'places of zen' whenever we see fit, whenever the soul needs to breathe. We don't have to go anywhere. We only have to open ourselves to what is around us. We are not a stray piece of thread, as we often feel, but part of a rich, multicolored tapestry that binds the 'Verse together. Right now many people stand within a Place, yet they can't see it. As quoted from "The Abyss":
"You have to look with better eyes than that."
The Place stays with you when you move, and the only direction you can move in this world is forward. I've been witness to a lot of movement as of late. People have died. Some have gotten a divorce, others got engaged. Forward movement happens, and if you are standing still in your life, then you are not living. You are existing. Given the amazingly short amount of time we have on this planet, one would think we'd all be a bit more motivated in our actions. Sadly, this is not the case, as I see people standing still all the time. I was one of those people, but not anymore. I now move forward. I have wisdom to contribute to the world, stories I want to tell. To not share these ideas and concepts, this imagination, is not to be honorable.
It's not about ego, here. You have to remove that from the equation, regardless of how hard that may seem. I'm not opposed to seeing my name up in lights, or cashing the checks from my screenwriting services, but it's not the driving force. It's a responsibility to share your talents, whatever they may be. To do this unselfishly. This is what keeps you interconnected. This is what moves you forward. Once you have allowed yourself to be in a Place, there is much to hear from the 'Verse. As I moved along the path around the mountain, the trees had this to say:
Give of your time.
Give of your talents.
Give of yourself.
Things aren't really as complex as we make it out to be.
Do not be the rock in the middle of the stream. Be the stream that moves around the rock. When you get to the end of your life, even then don't look back. We can't go back. To do so would be to live in a place that no longer exists.
Keep moving forward. Into the Light. Into the Place.
The above quote is paraphrased from a recent Facebook entry, and I wanted to pause to reflect on this moment of Zen. There's a certain interconnectedness that binds us all together in the 'Verse. On a molecular level, we all share the same building blocks of our existence. The chair you're seated in, the ground, the trees. We're all related to them, a part of them. They are extensions of ourselves, and we extensions of them. So when we come upon one of these external Places, we are in fact finding the calm within our soul. The eye of the storm, so to speak. With so much distraction and noise surrounding us on a daily basis, finding a Place becomes a necessity (even if we aren't consciously searching for one), so that we may rebalance the self.
However, maybe it's not so much about 'finding' as it is about 'allowing' ourselves to be in that Place. There is no external force exerting its will upon us, no revealing of a special Place for the unworthy. We are the ones who move the chess pieces of our lives. We are responsible for all that is around us. Finding a Place is simply our desire for the soul to take a deep breath and allow itself to be in the moment.
As I stood atop a mountain recently and gazed across the valley below, I allowed myself to be in a Place. I acknowledged the interconnectedness of me to the rustling trees, the warm sun, the silence of the mountaintop. 'God' was not an absentee landlord. 'He' was there as I was there. 'God' is us. We can create these 'places of zen' whenever we see fit, whenever the soul needs to breathe. We don't have to go anywhere. We only have to open ourselves to what is around us. We are not a stray piece of thread, as we often feel, but part of a rich, multicolored tapestry that binds the 'Verse together. Right now many people stand within a Place, yet they can't see it. As quoted from "The Abyss":
"You have to look with better eyes than that."
The Place stays with you when you move, and the only direction you can move in this world is forward. I've been witness to a lot of movement as of late. People have died. Some have gotten a divorce, others got engaged. Forward movement happens, and if you are standing still in your life, then you are not living. You are existing. Given the amazingly short amount of time we have on this planet, one would think we'd all be a bit more motivated in our actions. Sadly, this is not the case, as I see people standing still all the time. I was one of those people, but not anymore. I now move forward. I have wisdom to contribute to the world, stories I want to tell. To not share these ideas and concepts, this imagination, is not to be honorable.
It's not about ego, here. You have to remove that from the equation, regardless of how hard that may seem. I'm not opposed to seeing my name up in lights, or cashing the checks from my screenwriting services, but it's not the driving force. It's a responsibility to share your talents, whatever they may be. To do this unselfishly. This is what keeps you interconnected. This is what moves you forward. Once you have allowed yourself to be in a Place, there is much to hear from the 'Verse. As I moved along the path around the mountain, the trees had this to say:
Give of your time.
Give of your talents.
Give of yourself.
Things aren't really as complex as we make it out to be.
Do not be the rock in the middle of the stream. Be the stream that moves around the rock. When you get to the end of your life, even then don't look back. We can't go back. To do so would be to live in a place that no longer exists.
Keep moving forward. Into the Light. Into the Place.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Humbleness In The Face Of God
As a society of achievers, we've certainly have amassed a large amount of swag to show for our accomplishments. Certificates, degrees, plaques, awards, medals, trophies, new cars, t-shirts, light sabers. These 'life marker' trinkets serve as a visual reminder of your good deeds, but they also can act as ego inflaters, which then prevents us from doing work in the here and now because we're too busy running our mouths about the great things we've done in the past.
"A sound head, an honest heart, and a humble spirit are the three best guides through time and to eternity."
- Sir Walter Scott
As a western society, we've definitely lost the art of being humble, that is, if we ever really had it to begin with. The 'look how great I am' mentality permeates every aspect of our culture. If sports figures, politicians, and celebrities aren't talking about themselves, then they're hardly talking at all. Strutting one's peacock feathers has become an acceptable (and unfortunately necessary) way of moving ahead in this world. Doing the actual work, good work, never really gets mentioned. It's just sort of assumed, because all we get to see is the end result. The glitz. Never the process.
If you want to know who's got the most toys at a party, it's usually the person with the loudest mouth. Of course, the moment you start believing your own press is usually the same moment where everyone else now believes you're full of shit, and then you're left wondering why the same thing that worked before no longer works now. I can almost see actress Nia Vardalos sitting at home endlessly pouring over the box office receipts of her two most recent cinematic failures and wondering why they weren't big hits like her previous "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".
Life is not about the end result. That, as you already know, is death. We turn to dust, and as well made as some of these prefabricated life markers are, they too will one day become dust. Life is about living in the now, and doing the work on a moment to moment basis. A person who stands around chatting about their laundry list of accomplishments is someone who lives in the past. A person living in the present, actively living in the present, has no time to brag about where they've been. They're too focused on where they are.
The real joy of living comes from actually doing the work, whatever that work may be. Writers write. Builders build. Bob the Builder, for example, doesn't waste and entire episode marveling over his past animated constructions. He's too damn busy with his current project. That little guy gets more done in ten minutes than most of us do all day. Talk about work ethic!
"Are we gonna do it, or are we gonna talk about it?"
- "Streets of Fire"
There's something to be said for a 'pat on the back' over a job well done, but it shouldn't be the driving force behind doing the job in the first place. I've always loved the irony of celebrities who proudly display their awards (Oscars, Emmys, etc.) in the bathrooms of their homes.
Humbleness is the true key to success. To remain humble in the face of God is to remain humble within the self. We are 'God'. We look in the mirror and it is us looking back. We control all that we do. Live in the moments of now and not in those of the past. There's no one back there but you. Your best work is the one you have yet to create, right here, in the present. Be less concerned about the ego and more concerned about the passion that drives you.
Yes, that Oscar you won for your last blockbuster film is very nice, now use it to prop open a window and get some fresh air into your lungs.
You have work to do.
"A sound head, an honest heart, and a humble spirit are the three best guides through time and to eternity."
- Sir Walter Scott
As a western society, we've definitely lost the art of being humble, that is, if we ever really had it to begin with. The 'look how great I am' mentality permeates every aspect of our culture. If sports figures, politicians, and celebrities aren't talking about themselves, then they're hardly talking at all. Strutting one's peacock feathers has become an acceptable (and unfortunately necessary) way of moving ahead in this world. Doing the actual work, good work, never really gets mentioned. It's just sort of assumed, because all we get to see is the end result. The glitz. Never the process.
If you want to know who's got the most toys at a party, it's usually the person with the loudest mouth. Of course, the moment you start believing your own press is usually the same moment where everyone else now believes you're full of shit, and then you're left wondering why the same thing that worked before no longer works now. I can almost see actress Nia Vardalos sitting at home endlessly pouring over the box office receipts of her two most recent cinematic failures and wondering why they weren't big hits like her previous "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".
Life is not about the end result. That, as you already know, is death. We turn to dust, and as well made as some of these prefabricated life markers are, they too will one day become dust. Life is about living in the now, and doing the work on a moment to moment basis. A person who stands around chatting about their laundry list of accomplishments is someone who lives in the past. A person living in the present, actively living in the present, has no time to brag about where they've been. They're too focused on where they are.
The real joy of living comes from actually doing the work, whatever that work may be. Writers write. Builders build. Bob the Builder, for example, doesn't waste and entire episode marveling over his past animated constructions. He's too damn busy with his current project. That little guy gets more done in ten minutes than most of us do all day. Talk about work ethic!
"Are we gonna do it, or are we gonna talk about it?"
- "Streets of Fire"
There's something to be said for a 'pat on the back' over a job well done, but it shouldn't be the driving force behind doing the job in the first place. I've always loved the irony of celebrities who proudly display their awards (Oscars, Emmys, etc.) in the bathrooms of their homes.
Humbleness is the true key to success. To remain humble in the face of God is to remain humble within the self. We are 'God'. We look in the mirror and it is us looking back. We control all that we do. Live in the moments of now and not in those of the past. There's no one back there but you. Your best work is the one you have yet to create, right here, in the present. Be less concerned about the ego and more concerned about the passion that drives you.
Yes, that Oscar you won for your last blockbuster film is very nice, now use it to prop open a window and get some fresh air into your lungs.
You have work to do.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Is No My Job!
You're stuck, right? Wondering how you got where you are? Why did life dump so much manure on your doorstep? Yeah, I know. Been where you are. Twenty years of wondering what the hell happened.
"Twenty years now
Where'd they go?
Twenty years
I don't know
I sit and I wonder sometimes
Where they've gone"
- Bob Seger
There's certainly a lot of finger pointing going on, nowadays. I'm not sure at what point in our evolution we stopped accepting personal responsibility and started blaming everyone else, but it's having a detrimental effect on our souls, and this prevents us from moving forward in life.
You think we would have learned from our childhood days of chanting, "Not me!" when accused of events you knew you were guilty of, but instead we've managed to transfer our childhood fear of getting in trouble into full blown adulthood, where "Not me!" absolves you of responsibility from just about anything ranging from bad customer service on up to criminal homicide, and then some.
Accepting personal responsibility is one of the easiest things to do, yet one of the hardest things to live by, mainly because there's no one there to hold you accountable for your actions. They're too busy pointing fingers at other people, and if no one else is doing it, why should you? Fortunately, the age old parental adage about jumping off a bridge if all your friends are doing it still applies here, so let's make this real simple:
You are completely responsible for you.
While I did use the word 'simple', I'll be first to say that it did take a very long time before I could fully comprehend the above statement and implement its meaning into my life on a daily basis, but I did it. I know it's within the realm of possibility, especially when you come to understand just how to accept personal responsibility in all that you do.
Let's first clear the air by listing the things that didn't put you where you are at this very moment in your life:
"God", Fate, Destiny (or any other supposed 'divine' force)
Family
Friends
Spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend
Career
Economic conditions
Good luck, bad luck, dumb luck, or any other kind of luck!
You're where you are because of the choices you've made. That's it. Everything you've done up to now you've opted to do. The question is, were they effective choices you've made? Perhaps, perhaps not. Forrest Landry, an old mentor of mine, had this to say:
"All levels of self, self-thought, and self-feeling must be known, acknowledged, and accepted to make effective choices."
I could spend years breaking down this statement into the essence of its meaning and still probably not scratch the surface, so let's just say that accepting personal responsibility is a daunting task. However, it is a necessary task if the soul is to truly grow in this life. Once you start taking the heat for your actions instead of giving it out, you'll realize that you can change anything you want in you life.
Anything.
This is an amazing sense of empowerment, like waking up one morning and finding out you're Superman. You wouldn't hesitate for a second to go outside and fly up into the heavens, would you? So why are you sitting there blaming everyone else for your troubles?
You made yourself fat.
You made yourself poor.
You made yourself alone.
You made yourself addicted.
You've made plenty of negative choices. Now make a positive choice, an effective choice. Feed the soul. Light the fires of motivation. Make yourself fly.
It is your job, and yours alone.
"Twenty years now
Where'd they go?
Twenty years
I don't know
I sit and I wonder sometimes
Where they've gone"
- Bob Seger
There's certainly a lot of finger pointing going on, nowadays. I'm not sure at what point in our evolution we stopped accepting personal responsibility and started blaming everyone else, but it's having a detrimental effect on our souls, and this prevents us from moving forward in life.
You think we would have learned from our childhood days of chanting, "Not me!" when accused of events you knew you were guilty of, but instead we've managed to transfer our childhood fear of getting in trouble into full blown adulthood, where "Not me!" absolves you of responsibility from just about anything ranging from bad customer service on up to criminal homicide, and then some.
Accepting personal responsibility is one of the easiest things to do, yet one of the hardest things to live by, mainly because there's no one there to hold you accountable for your actions. They're too busy pointing fingers at other people, and if no one else is doing it, why should you? Fortunately, the age old parental adage about jumping off a bridge if all your friends are doing it still applies here, so let's make this real simple:
You are completely responsible for you.
While I did use the word 'simple', I'll be first to say that it did take a very long time before I could fully comprehend the above statement and implement its meaning into my life on a daily basis, but I did it. I know it's within the realm of possibility, especially when you come to understand just how to accept personal responsibility in all that you do.
Let's first clear the air by listing the things that didn't put you where you are at this very moment in your life:
"God", Fate, Destiny (or any other supposed 'divine' force)
Family
Friends
Spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend
Career
Economic conditions
Good luck, bad luck, dumb luck, or any other kind of luck!
You're where you are because of the choices you've made. That's it. Everything you've done up to now you've opted to do. The question is, were they effective choices you've made? Perhaps, perhaps not. Forrest Landry, an old mentor of mine, had this to say:
"All levels of self, self-thought, and self-feeling must be known, acknowledged, and accepted to make effective choices."
I could spend years breaking down this statement into the essence of its meaning and still probably not scratch the surface, so let's just say that accepting personal responsibility is a daunting task. However, it is a necessary task if the soul is to truly grow in this life. Once you start taking the heat for your actions instead of giving it out, you'll realize that you can change anything you want in you life.
Anything.
This is an amazing sense of empowerment, like waking up one morning and finding out you're Superman. You wouldn't hesitate for a second to go outside and fly up into the heavens, would you? So why are you sitting there blaming everyone else for your troubles?
You made yourself fat.
You made yourself poor.
You made yourself alone.
You made yourself addicted.
You've made plenty of negative choices. Now make a positive choice, an effective choice. Feed the soul. Light the fires of motivation. Make yourself fly.
It is your job, and yours alone.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Cringe Inducer
My partner in crime recently said that she might not see the current Sacha Baron Cohen opus "Bruno" in the theater because she didn't like films that made her cringe, and his previous effort "Borat" was certainly cringe inducing in its execution (outright shocking, even) when it was unleashed on the unsuspecting public in 2006. Having just seen "Bruno", I can safely say that Cohen hasn't dulled his comedic edge when it comes to making an audience feel like crawling under their theater seats during just about any scene in the 83 minute running time.
This, however, is a good thing. You see, film is a powerful art form, one that can literally change the direction of your life. You might want to pay attention to the emotions that rise to the surface when reacting to this, or any art form for that matter.
Why are you cringing? What is it about what you are seeing that makes you uncomfortable? Is it the midget who gets a fire extinguisher enema? The talking penis? The simulated fellatio act? Two grown men making out on camera?
As we know, being human is a complicated gig, and this changes from day to day. Moment to moment, even. We shed skin, hair, and wake up with a brand new stomach lining each morning. We are never the same person twice, so it's very nourishing to challenge the definition of the soul as much as possible. I like being shocked, force to sit up in my seat and pay attention, and I like to explore the 'whys' of how that reaction came about.
Film critic Roger Ebert recently said that we take the experience of who we are and all the films we've seen whenever we enter the theater and view a new film. We judge this experience on what has gone before, and then figure out if the film had anything new to offer us. I have seen plenty of cringe inducing films in my time ("Cannibal Holocaust" immediately comes to mind), and even though "Bruno" isn't nearly as polished as "Borat", there were more than a few moments that made me audibly gasp, and I was delighted to find out that after logging so many film 'road miles' I could still be shocked by a man who is clearly fearless in his execution of comedy.
This is how we all should live. Fearless. Yet many of us are far too comfortable inside our own boxes to allow anything in that might change our delicate perception of how we view the world. Personally, I say break the glass, then go ahead and break it again. We're only getting one go around in this life, and I for one want to know why I cringe at such sights, and how I can embrace that uncomfortableness as a positive and make it my own.
In a theater filled with less than 20 people, there was still one person who walked out of my screening of "Bruno", and that was early on. I'd like to claim some film 'street cred' that I made it to the end of the movie and they didn't, but the truth is that for every one person who chooses to live outside the box, there are countless masses that never will. That's too bad, for how much more enlightened would that person had been if they watched the entire film? What new insights could they have learned about the nature of their soul? Should their last image of the film be that of a midget launching himself ass backward in a rolling chair towards Bruno's erect cock? I could only imagine the conversation around the dinner table that night...
Go forth and be cringed! Find out what makes that clock of yours tick. You never know, the sight of a champagne bottle jammed halfway up someones rectum might open up your whole universe...
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The Man With The Hat
Marion: "You're not the man I knew ten years ago."
Indiana Jones: "It's not the years, sweetheart. It's the mileage."
I'm certainly not the man I was 28 years ago when I first saw "Raiders of the Lost Ark", but I have learned a thing or two about mileage in that time, and the difference between living in the moment and existing in the world.
"The Raiders March" filled my ears from my mp3 player upon my walk this morning, and it instantly cast me back to the awkward boy I was in 1981 without any real positive male role models in my life. My parents divorced at an early age, and my mother never remarried. My father moved on with his life, which essentially left me to grow up in a house full of women, consisting of my mother, my younger sister, and my aunt.
If I was to balance the ample amount of Yin energy with some Yang energy, I would need to look elsewhere than the home environment for some positive male role models. Sports never held any interest for me. It always seemed too generic and obvious to me, and I didn't want to follow what everyone else was doing. Books did help, as I as a voracious reader during my teenage years.
However, I would find the true male role models in my life up on the silver screen. Bold, brave, larger than life. Indiana Jones. Jack Burton. James Bond. Han Solo. Rocky Balboa. Yoda. Buckaroo Banzai. Men of action. I learned from these men (or aliens) and many other characters. They inspired, motivated, and challenged me in ways that few people did in real life. I learned about archeology from Indy, discovered a love for travel from Bond's worldwide exploits, and tapped into my inner Zen from listening to the likes of Dr. Banzai and Mr. Miyagi.
Indiana Jones would be one of my strongest role models. I hadn't seen "Raiders" when it first opened, but in late August of that year I attended a two week acting camp where the other campers chatted endlessly about it. I knew right then that my life would end if I did not go see this film IMMEDIATELY when I got home. Back then, films would play in theaters for six months to a year before leaving, so at some point in the fall of '81, I finally saw "Raiders" at a theater in Margate, New Jersey.
I have no actual memory of seeing the film at that time, but I do remember the impact it would have on me for years to come. Indy was a very good role model for a young boy. Strong, intelligent, adventurous, and, most of all, fallible. He was human. He made mistakes, yet managed to find the courage and strength (or dumb luck, even) to turn it around and succeed. This was one motivated dude, and I was quick to sit up and pay attention. Unlike space operas or sword and sorcery films, "Raiders" was far more tangible to identify with. It took place on Earth, in a real time period, with very real villains. Indy carried a gun as a practical weapon and a bullwhip as a cool weapon (which was also very practical for his line of work). There were no blaster or light sabers to be found here, and I was delighted to know that I could actually obtain such items in real life!
Of course, I was never really a gun person (as mentioned previously), so the bullwhip would be the weapon of choice until the sword came along some years later. For about six to eight months after I saw "Raiders", I actually thought I was Indiana Jones, which drove my family crazy, I'm sure. I had my version of Indy's hat, whip, jacket, and satchel bag, and would spend hours in my rather large backyard on countless adventures across the globe. I developed a taste for archeology, but would find out later that it was far more boring as a full on career than Indy's adventures.
Despite the somewhat lackluster films that followed, the character of Indy has always stayed with me these past 28 years. He's been a source of inspiration and motivation in my life, and unlike many real people, he's always been there for me. To say I have "Raiders" memorized would be an understatement. If you just played the soundtrack, I could tell you exactly where you were in the film. A little creepy perhaps, but it's a testament to the power of film, and how those images can change the direction of your life if you open your soul to the experience.
This fictional character taught me much in the definition of the self, and I honor him whenever I can, whether it be re watching "Raiders" again and reciting every line of dialogue, embarking on real life adventures, or just playing the Lego Indy video game, which I enjoy doing with my partner in crime. I let her play as Indy, for I'm content to play as the Alfred Molina character, Marion, or Indy's dad. I've spent enough time in Indy's shoes. I walk my own path now, but I know that he'll always be there as a whip cracking, guiding force in my life.
As the "Raiders March" comes to a brassy, triumphant end, there is a somewhat whimsical Indy coda that follows. I smile when I hear that small piece of music, for it reminds me not to take this life too seriously. There are big adventures out there, to be sure, but there is also the folly of watching the wind blow through the trees and having the leaves wave at you as you pass by.
I suppose there's a little Lego Indy in all of us...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Balance Within A Tilt-A-Whirl 'Verse
"There's a dark side to each and every human soul. We want to be Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vadar in all of us. Because the thing is, this ain't no either/or proposition. Because we're talking about dialectics, the good and the bad merging into -- us."
- Chris in the Morning
While I had always been one to opt for light over darkness, I did spend a considerable amount of time in the twilight area. So much time that I would lose a good chunk of my youth before I would find the path. However, spiritual growth does not come without some type of sacrifice, and I certainly have paid my dues.
Han Solo was probably the most balanced character (spiritually speaking) in the entire Star Wars universe, and yes, this includes Yoda. One could always aim for the polar extremes, to be saged out like Obi Wan, or throat choking like Vadar, but not Han, though. He may have eventually fought on the side of good, but he knew it would be necessary to get his hands dirty from time to time.
You see, true balance within the self comes from both light and dark sharing the same space. The Yin/Yang, positive and negative forces mixing it up in a sort of Zen harmony inner stew.
Until recently, I lived an unbalanced life for a very long time. Finally, the time came for me to straighten out my ship, and I did. I now live a very positive existence, but I haven't forgotten the negative. It's still there, and while it no longer dictates the course of my ship, it does serve to keep the positive energy in check. Too much of anything, positive or negative, can be detrimental to the soul.
Here's a practical example of how I live:
A big part of changing my destiny was having to altar my dietary intake, which originally consisted of more negative items (fast food, fried foods, etc.) than positive. I've now reversed that, with about 85% of my diet being positive (fruits, veggies, grains) and only 15% remaining in the negative. While it is possible to go the full 100%, to do so would leave the positive energy unchecked, and this would lead to an inevitable backlash into the negative end of the pool. If you're wondering why your diet isn't working, this would be one of the reasons.
Although I've lost over 65lbs, walk 25 miles a week, and am in the best shape of my life (a musing in of itself for another time), I still drink beer, eat chocolate, and indulge in french toast. These negative items are there to balance out all the good that I eat, and a well balanced system keeps me focused in the moment. There is no backlash because I allow it to be a part of my existence. I need it for the continued definition of the self. As Chris in the Morning said, "Face the darkness, stare it down and own it."
Han knew what he was doing when he installed those hidden containers under the floorboards of the Falcon. He needed those in order to maintain the balance of his existence (and in one case actually save his life), even if he did believe a good blaster at your side was better than some 'hokey religion'. When all was said and done, he was one of the characters who lived to tell the tale, and is probably still flying his beloved Falcon somewhere inside George Lucas's head.
The world spins fast enough. Might be a good idea to get your feet under you while you can. You don't want to miss the really good stuff!
- Chris in the Morning
While I had always been one to opt for light over darkness, I did spend a considerable amount of time in the twilight area. So much time that I would lose a good chunk of my youth before I would find the path. However, spiritual growth does not come without some type of sacrifice, and I certainly have paid my dues.
Han Solo was probably the most balanced character (spiritually speaking) in the entire Star Wars universe, and yes, this includes Yoda. One could always aim for the polar extremes, to be saged out like Obi Wan, or throat choking like Vadar, but not Han, though. He may have eventually fought on the side of good, but he knew it would be necessary to get his hands dirty from time to time.
You see, true balance within the self comes from both light and dark sharing the same space. The Yin/Yang, positive and negative forces mixing it up in a sort of Zen harmony inner stew.
Until recently, I lived an unbalanced life for a very long time. Finally, the time came for me to straighten out my ship, and I did. I now live a very positive existence, but I haven't forgotten the negative. It's still there, and while it no longer dictates the course of my ship, it does serve to keep the positive energy in check. Too much of anything, positive or negative, can be detrimental to the soul.
Here's a practical example of how I live:
A big part of changing my destiny was having to altar my dietary intake, which originally consisted of more negative items (fast food, fried foods, etc.) than positive. I've now reversed that, with about 85% of my diet being positive (fruits, veggies, grains) and only 15% remaining in the negative. While it is possible to go the full 100%, to do so would leave the positive energy unchecked, and this would lead to an inevitable backlash into the negative end of the pool. If you're wondering why your diet isn't working, this would be one of the reasons.
Although I've lost over 65lbs, walk 25 miles a week, and am in the best shape of my life (a musing in of itself for another time), I still drink beer, eat chocolate, and indulge in french toast. These negative items are there to balance out all the good that I eat, and a well balanced system keeps me focused in the moment. There is no backlash because I allow it to be a part of my existence. I need it for the continued definition of the self. As Chris in the Morning said, "Face the darkness, stare it down and own it."
Han knew what he was doing when he installed those hidden containers under the floorboards of the Falcon. He needed those in order to maintain the balance of his existence (and in one case actually save his life), even if he did believe a good blaster at your side was better than some 'hokey religion'. When all was said and done, he was one of the characters who lived to tell the tale, and is probably still flying his beloved Falcon somewhere inside George Lucas's head.
The world spins fast enough. Might be a good idea to get your feet under you while you can. You don't want to miss the really good stuff!
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Adventurist Begins...
While there are many facets that define my diamond of a soul, the top three sit squarely on my business card:
Artist. Swordsman. Adventurist.
I imagine an adventurist as someone who specializes in having adventures, even though there is no such job title. However, since there are biologists, archaeologists, and linguists, I suppose there's no reason why there can't be adventurists as well. Besides, it sounds like a whole lot more fun than being a linguist. While an 'adventurer' is someone who seeks out bold journeys and experiences, such as climbing Mt. Everest, or searching for lost treasure ships, an 'adventurist' seeks out life changing experiences in all the moments, both great and small.
KBHR's Chris in the Morning from "Northern Exposure" sums this up nicely:
"You see, adventures come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, like -- getting your hair cut, falling in love. Even getting behind the wheel and backing out of the driveway can be a sublime act of fate -- as well as a monumental act of courage."
I thrive in the moments, and I believe it's important to get out and about in the world. We're talking the ability to physically move through space, whether it be a simple walk to the end of your driveway, or hiking to the top of a mountain. You never know what you might see, or what you may discover about yourself.
Be fearless in all that is around you.
This began for me at an early age when I discovered a love for amusement parks and all the thrills they had to offer. I developed my sense of adventure by challenging myself to 'survive' the various roller coasters and thrill rides that seemed to intimidate those with even the strongest constitutions. These theme parks excursions would eventually lead to many real world adventures for which I am grateful to have experienced.
Hiking, cave exploration, rock climbing, white water rafting, deep sea fishing. Big moments, to be sure, but just as important as the small creek I found on my walk yesterday, or taste testing a citrus olive oil at a small shop in Old Town San Diego.
Once, on a deep sea fishing trip, a fellow passenger was violently ill from the moment the boat left the dock. For seven of the eight hour trip he would vomit over the side, lay down for fifteen minutes, then get up and vomit again. We're talking twenty miles off shore here with nowhere to go. Finally, in the last hour, he managed to muster enough energy to prop himself up on a bench and throw a line over the side. As it turned out, he caught the biggest fish out of any of us, even if he was too sick to eat it later.
Irony aside, we never really know what will happen when we step out of our own little boxes, and that's part of the fun in life. As an adventurist, I continually seek experiences outside my comfort zone. This is not a 'death wish' so much as it is a 'life wish', to really live within the moment in all that I do. Sometimes there needs to be an element of danger, the rush of adrenalin to propel you forth into the unknown abyss. Sometimes there just needs to be a quiet moment of reflection to achieve the same result.
Be an adventurist. The world is boundless and there are treasures aplenty. As Jack Burton once said, "Hey, you never know 'til you try!"
Artist. Swordsman. Adventurist.
I imagine an adventurist as someone who specializes in having adventures, even though there is no such job title. However, since there are biologists, archaeologists, and linguists, I suppose there's no reason why there can't be adventurists as well. Besides, it sounds like a whole lot more fun than being a linguist. While an 'adventurer' is someone who seeks out bold journeys and experiences, such as climbing Mt. Everest, or searching for lost treasure ships, an 'adventurist' seeks out life changing experiences in all the moments, both great and small.
KBHR's Chris in the Morning from "Northern Exposure" sums this up nicely:
"You see, adventures come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, like -- getting your hair cut, falling in love. Even getting behind the wheel and backing out of the driveway can be a sublime act of fate -- as well as a monumental act of courage."
I thrive in the moments, and I believe it's important to get out and about in the world. We're talking the ability to physically move through space, whether it be a simple walk to the end of your driveway, or hiking to the top of a mountain. You never know what you might see, or what you may discover about yourself.
Be fearless in all that is around you.
This began for me at an early age when I discovered a love for amusement parks and all the thrills they had to offer. I developed my sense of adventure by challenging myself to 'survive' the various roller coasters and thrill rides that seemed to intimidate those with even the strongest constitutions. These theme parks excursions would eventually lead to many real world adventures for which I am grateful to have experienced.
Hiking, cave exploration, rock climbing, white water rafting, deep sea fishing. Big moments, to be sure, but just as important as the small creek I found on my walk yesterday, or taste testing a citrus olive oil at a small shop in Old Town San Diego.
Once, on a deep sea fishing trip, a fellow passenger was violently ill from the moment the boat left the dock. For seven of the eight hour trip he would vomit over the side, lay down for fifteen minutes, then get up and vomit again. We're talking twenty miles off shore here with nowhere to go. Finally, in the last hour, he managed to muster enough energy to prop himself up on a bench and throw a line over the side. As it turned out, he caught the biggest fish out of any of us, even if he was too sick to eat it later.
Irony aside, we never really know what will happen when we step out of our own little boxes, and that's part of the fun in life. As an adventurist, I continually seek experiences outside my comfort zone. This is not a 'death wish' so much as it is a 'life wish', to really live within the moment in all that I do. Sometimes there needs to be an element of danger, the rush of adrenalin to propel you forth into the unknown abyss. Sometimes there just needs to be a quiet moment of reflection to achieve the same result.
Be an adventurist. The world is boundless and there are treasures aplenty. As Jack Burton once said, "Hey, you never know 'til you try!"
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Feathers On The Wind
A single black feather drifted across my path on my walk this morning, and I was instantly humbled.
I retrieved the feather, tucked it in the back of my bandanna, and continued on my journey. The 'Verse has much to say, and we need only pay attention by having an open soul. I consider the feather a blessing, for it brought me into the moment, reminding me that we must all be light in our movements through this life, and allow the metaphorical breeze to carry us where it must.
As I walked with the feather, the lyrics of an old Pink Floyd song echoed through my head:
"Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled"
I believe there was a video to this with an Indian jumping from a high cliff holding nothing but two black feathers in his hands. While I didn't feel the need to leap from a high place, I certainly understood its symbolic nature of faith, and that we spend a good chunk of our lives 'learning to fly'. These small bits of enlightenment are important for the nourishment of the soul.
Robert Pirsig said that God was just as at home in the parts of a motorcycle as he was in the leaves of the trees, or even the wind. I'm sure this extends to single black feathers as well, another reminder that we are God, and that our destiny lies within our own hands. It always has, since before we were born.
The black feather now sits on a makeshift altar above my desk, and serves as a continuing reminder that we are all feathers on the wind, drifting where we need to go, always moving towards the light.
"Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of
the night"
Pink Floyd is very Zen.
I retrieved the feather, tucked it in the back of my bandanna, and continued on my journey. The 'Verse has much to say, and we need only pay attention by having an open soul. I consider the feather a blessing, for it brought me into the moment, reminding me that we must all be light in our movements through this life, and allow the metaphorical breeze to carry us where it must.
As I walked with the feather, the lyrics of an old Pink Floyd song echoed through my head:
"Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled"
I believe there was a video to this with an Indian jumping from a high cliff holding nothing but two black feathers in his hands. While I didn't feel the need to leap from a high place, I certainly understood its symbolic nature of faith, and that we spend a good chunk of our lives 'learning to fly'. These small bits of enlightenment are important for the nourishment of the soul.
Robert Pirsig said that God was just as at home in the parts of a motorcycle as he was in the leaves of the trees, or even the wind. I'm sure this extends to single black feathers as well, another reminder that we are God, and that our destiny lies within our own hands. It always has, since before we were born.
The black feather now sits on a makeshift altar above my desk, and serves as a continuing reminder that we are all feathers on the wind, drifting where we need to go, always moving towards the light.
"Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of
the night"
Pink Floyd is very Zen.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
I Am...
"You cannot be who and what you are unless you have a lifestyle, both internally and externally, that is designed to support that definition of self."
- Phillip C. McGraw
I want to muse for a few moments on the nature of identity and how it affects the paths we choose in this life. Aside from the previously mentioned birth names, there are many other external ways in which we define ourselves. Through our work, through our family, through the ones we love. Some people are content to be defined by these external sources and simply exist in this world. If one takes on the position of a police officer, one usually takes on all the stereotypical trappings that go with it; the bad relationships, the taste for doughnuts, the emotional detachment that prevents the growth of meaningful relationships. How many times have you experienced this type of personality in a TV show or film? Far too many to count, I bet.
One must peer deep into the abyss of the soul in order to effectively define the self and their place in this world. Choices must be made. Hard, honest choices that one must have the courage to make. All of us possess this courage, but are either unaware they have it (through external conditioning), or too scared to use it. A former mentor of mine once said:
"All levels of self, self-thinking, and self-feeling must be known, acknowledged, and accepted to make effective choices."
How often do we consider this when choosing a wardrobe for the day? The capacity for change comes down to a matter of commitment. How bad do you want to change? Are you ready to back up those words? Wanting should lead to action, not more wanting.
"Deeds, not words."
- "Megaforce"
Honest change takes honest commitment. I've only encountered a handful of well defined souls in my short time on this planet. Former animal expert Steve Irwin comes to mind. Here was a completely defined human being who knew the role he was to play on this earth, and he knew it early on in his abbreviated life. He believed, he REALLY believed, he was put here to carry forth the message of the importance of conservation to everyone, and he did so with every last fiber of his being, even on the day his life ended.
There are many who say that people don't fundamentally change, and for the most part that's true. We are conditioned to accept our lot in life, without ever realizing that we alone have the ability to change our destiny. How did the Eagles put it?
"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key."
There are many catalysts for change when one is ready to define the self. You only have to sit up and pay attention. These past two years have presented many such catalysts so I could finally step up and fly my ship straight and true. One example would be the 2008 film, "Iron Man", specifically the last line of dialogue before the credits. Here's a story of a man who spent his entire life talking out of both sides of his mouth. Lying to himself and everyone around him. Through a series of fantastic events, he finds his soul has been changed forever. The 'cloth was lifted', and he saw his true place in this world. By the end of the story he had became a better man. He could have easily kept his secret from the world, but instead he made one final choice, an effective choice, that would forever seal his destiny. He said:
"The truth is, I am Iron Man."
What an incredibly defining statement. To honestly bare your soul in the face of all who stand before you. To be defined. When I heard that, I knew the time had finally come for me to find the courage and commitment within to define myself in this world.
I am Honor Knight. Who do you want to be?
- Phillip C. McGraw
I want to muse for a few moments on the nature of identity and how it affects the paths we choose in this life. Aside from the previously mentioned birth names, there are many other external ways in which we define ourselves. Through our work, through our family, through the ones we love. Some people are content to be defined by these external sources and simply exist in this world. If one takes on the position of a police officer, one usually takes on all the stereotypical trappings that go with it; the bad relationships, the taste for doughnuts, the emotional detachment that prevents the growth of meaningful relationships. How many times have you experienced this type of personality in a TV show or film? Far too many to count, I bet.
One must peer deep into the abyss of the soul in order to effectively define the self and their place in this world. Choices must be made. Hard, honest choices that one must have the courage to make. All of us possess this courage, but are either unaware they have it (through external conditioning), or too scared to use it. A former mentor of mine once said:
"All levels of self, self-thinking, and self-feeling must be known, acknowledged, and accepted to make effective choices."
How often do we consider this when choosing a wardrobe for the day? The capacity for change comes down to a matter of commitment. How bad do you want to change? Are you ready to back up those words? Wanting should lead to action, not more wanting.
"Deeds, not words."
- "Megaforce"
Honest change takes honest commitment. I've only encountered a handful of well defined souls in my short time on this planet. Former animal expert Steve Irwin comes to mind. Here was a completely defined human being who knew the role he was to play on this earth, and he knew it early on in his abbreviated life. He believed, he REALLY believed, he was put here to carry forth the message of the importance of conservation to everyone, and he did so with every last fiber of his being, even on the day his life ended.
There are many who say that people don't fundamentally change, and for the most part that's true. We are conditioned to accept our lot in life, without ever realizing that we alone have the ability to change our destiny. How did the Eagles put it?
"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key."
There are many catalysts for change when one is ready to define the self. You only have to sit up and pay attention. These past two years have presented many such catalysts so I could finally step up and fly my ship straight and true. One example would be the 2008 film, "Iron Man", specifically the last line of dialogue before the credits. Here's a story of a man who spent his entire life talking out of both sides of his mouth. Lying to himself and everyone around him. Through a series of fantastic events, he finds his soul has been changed forever. The 'cloth was lifted', and he saw his true place in this world. By the end of the story he had became a better man. He could have easily kept his secret from the world, but instead he made one final choice, an effective choice, that would forever seal his destiny. He said:
"The truth is, I am Iron Man."
What an incredibly defining statement. To honestly bare your soul in the face of all who stand before you. To be defined. When I heard that, I knew the time had finally come for me to find the courage and commitment within to define myself in this world.
I am Honor Knight. Who do you want to be?
Friday, July 3, 2009
Swordsman Of The Modern Age
The year was 1988. The film in question was George Lucas and Ron Howard's "Willow". The film medium and I have been intertwined at a very early age. As mentioned before, the lack of male role models in my life forced me to look elsewhere for men of honor, and I found no shortage of them upon the silver screen. For about six months after "Raiders of the Lost Ark" came out, I actually thought I was Indiana Jones, much to the chagrin of my family. However, guns and bullwhips never really clicked with me the way the swordsmanship did.
From "Star Wars" to the great samurai epics, I've always been fascinated with the use of the blade. Errol Flynn, Gene Kelly, and even Mandy Patinkin, displayed such a grace of movement that I was always enamoured by the flow of energy as the sword dance through the air. Anyone can use a gun, really. Doesn't take much skill to point the weapon and pull the trigger. If you're close enough, more often than not you'll hit your intended target. Takes more skill to shoot from a distance, but it lacks a certain elegance in the approach, and it's a bit of a cheat, as many feel that if you're going to kill someone, it should be up close and personal.
I am not a violent soul by nature, although like anyone else, I'm certainly capable of it. My use of the sword is more symbolic, as I use it to 'slay' the distractions within the mind and maintain the peace and balance within the soul. But yes, there is the 'cool' factor, which leads us back to May of 1988 and the film "Willow".
Val Kilmer displayed such a unique style of swordsmanship that I could no longer ignore the blade. My first 'sword' was not a blade at all, as I didn't really want to cut off appendages that I might need later in life. It was nothing more than a long wooden dowel wrapped in black tape and capped with two rubber stoppers in case I hit myself, which I often did. This was a trial and error process, as just mimicking the actions of Kilmer on the big screen will only get you so far. Looking 'cool' is one thing, being practical is something else entirely. I had taken a fencing class in high school, and had studied other swordsmanship styles, but none seemed quite right for me. I was never one for taking orders, and I didn't want to be constrained by a certain style. I wanted a freedom of movement, and an adaptability to any given situation.
So, like Bruce Lee (and many others) before me, I went off and developed my own style of swordsmanship: Zen Kata, which essentially means "moving meditation". I developed an entire series of moves, both offensive and defensive, over many years of trial and error. 21 years later it is now simply an extension of myself, and I learned that the 'cool' factor is not so much an outward display of talent as it is an inward expression of balance and stillness.
"If the mind flows free, so does the sword."
I've held many swords and slayed many demons of the mind, and it continues to be a part of me in all that I do. My business card states three words under my name: Artist. Swordsman. Adventurist. Three things that define me in this life. Three things I honor on a daily basis, and will do so until I pass from this world.
I know now that the blade has been a part of my soul for many lives prior to this one, but in some small way I owe a debt of thanks to mister Kilmer for helping it to emerge in this life by making it look so 'cool' on the silver screen. Without it, I might be a little less defined this time around.
Willow: What's that?
Madmartigan: Smells like a battle.
Willow: I suppose you're a warrior.
Madmartigan: I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived.
From "Star Wars" to the great samurai epics, I've always been fascinated with the use of the blade. Errol Flynn, Gene Kelly, and even Mandy Patinkin, displayed such a grace of movement that I was always enamoured by the flow of energy as the sword dance through the air. Anyone can use a gun, really. Doesn't take much skill to point the weapon and pull the trigger. If you're close enough, more often than not you'll hit your intended target. Takes more skill to shoot from a distance, but it lacks a certain elegance in the approach, and it's a bit of a cheat, as many feel that if you're going to kill someone, it should be up close and personal.
I am not a violent soul by nature, although like anyone else, I'm certainly capable of it. My use of the sword is more symbolic, as I use it to 'slay' the distractions within the mind and maintain the peace and balance within the soul. But yes, there is the 'cool' factor, which leads us back to May of 1988 and the film "Willow".
Val Kilmer displayed such a unique style of swordsmanship that I could no longer ignore the blade. My first 'sword' was not a blade at all, as I didn't really want to cut off appendages that I might need later in life. It was nothing more than a long wooden dowel wrapped in black tape and capped with two rubber stoppers in case I hit myself, which I often did. This was a trial and error process, as just mimicking the actions of Kilmer on the big screen will only get you so far. Looking 'cool' is one thing, being practical is something else entirely. I had taken a fencing class in high school, and had studied other swordsmanship styles, but none seemed quite right for me. I was never one for taking orders, and I didn't want to be constrained by a certain style. I wanted a freedom of movement, and an adaptability to any given situation.
So, like Bruce Lee (and many others) before me, I went off and developed my own style of swordsmanship: Zen Kata, which essentially means "moving meditation". I developed an entire series of moves, both offensive and defensive, over many years of trial and error. 21 years later it is now simply an extension of myself, and I learned that the 'cool' factor is not so much an outward display of talent as it is an inward expression of balance and stillness.
"If the mind flows free, so does the sword."
I've held many swords and slayed many demons of the mind, and it continues to be a part of me in all that I do. My business card states three words under my name: Artist. Swordsman. Adventurist. Three things that define me in this life. Three things I honor on a daily basis, and will do so until I pass from this world.
I know now that the blade has been a part of my soul for many lives prior to this one, but in some small way I owe a debt of thanks to mister Kilmer for helping it to emerge in this life by making it look so 'cool' on the silver screen. Without it, I might be a little less defined this time around.
Willow: What's that?
Madmartigan: Smells like a battle.
Willow: I suppose you're a warrior.
Madmartigan: I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Effortless Swimming
The following is another musing I wrote in a moment of clarity somewhere along the path:
"Tao is forever flowing."
-Lao Tzu
Comforting words from a wise man. The water we travel upon will not evaporate, yet we dare not stick our hand over the side. We fear that which lies below the surface.
For the few swimmers that have braved the waters of the Tao, the rewards have been many. They have taken that leap of faith in a quest to understand their souls. However, everything come with a price. Karma exists to maintain the balance.
There is no turning back when one has take the 'plunge'. To do so would result in a life of unfullfillment. We can only swim forward to better our lives and awaken our spirits. What we leave behind we don't really need. Ignorance, lies, anger and fear are manifestations of the conscious mind that exist only to weigh us down.
To swim in the Tao is to swim in purity.
"What we leave behind we don't really need." Obviously if we really needed it, I'd suppose we'd take it with us. I wonder, though, how much is really necessary to carry us through this world and how much is just excessive baggage we cling to for comfort. Many people own a vast amount of DVD's, yet only ever watch a handful of them more than once. The rest take up space as a physical representation of a memory of feeling once experienced. Is not the memory or feeling enough? Why do we burden ourselves so, when in the end we all know it turns to dust?
It's okay to let go. One swims faster and further with less to carry.
"Tao is forever flowing."
-Lao Tzu
Comforting words from a wise man. The water we travel upon will not evaporate, yet we dare not stick our hand over the side. We fear that which lies below the surface.
For the few swimmers that have braved the waters of the Tao, the rewards have been many. They have taken that leap of faith in a quest to understand their souls. However, everything come with a price. Karma exists to maintain the balance.
There is no turning back when one has take the 'plunge'. To do so would result in a life of unfullfillment. We can only swim forward to better our lives and awaken our spirits. What we leave behind we don't really need. Ignorance, lies, anger and fear are manifestations of the conscious mind that exist only to weigh us down.
To swim in the Tao is to swim in purity.
"What we leave behind we don't really need." Obviously if we really needed it, I'd suppose we'd take it with us. I wonder, though, how much is really necessary to carry us through this world and how much is just excessive baggage we cling to for comfort. Many people own a vast amount of DVD's, yet only ever watch a handful of them more than once. The rest take up space as a physical representation of a memory of feeling once experienced. Is not the memory or feeling enough? Why do we burden ourselves so, when in the end we all know it turns to dust?
It's okay to let go. One swims faster and further with less to carry.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
What's In A Name?
Indiana Jones. Buckaroo Banzai. Doc Savage. Allen Quartermain. Jake Speed. James Bond. Dirk Pitt.
These are all names that came before Honor Knight. Truth be told, I've always harbored a secret desire to be an action hero, as the above list of names might indicate. A lack of positive male roles models in my life would lead me to follow those brave men's exploits upon the silver screen. I would look up to them and learn from them over the course of my childhood. Even if I wasn't born an action hero, there was no reason I couldn't live like one.
The names we are given at birth don't represent who we are as adults. They don't define us because we have yet to define ourselves in this life. These names are simply projections of how others see us at the time. "He looks like a William." "She looks a Jane." There's a lot of juniors, II's and III's, the product of selfish individuals who want to live forever through the family bloodline. Most of us move through life without a second thought to our given birth names, unless of course it's frequently misspelled or unpronounceable.
I have held three names thus far in the definition of the self. The first was my birth name when my parents were still married. After their divorce, my last name was changed to my mother's maiden name, and stayed that way until Honor Knight came along. I'm not sure of the exact origins of this name, or when it first entered my collective consciousness. As a writer I've toyed with various different pen names, as my mother's last name turned out to be one of those classic Polish names that turn your tongue into knots just trying to pronounce it. Even worse if you're trying to spell it. Regardless of what I came up with, none of them ever felt truly right for me, or looked really good upon the page.
There's something to be said for a cool sounding name. One that instantly conjures an image of a person. One that's memorable, and rolls smoothly off the tongue. Say the name "Indiana Jones", and we instantly know what this person looks like. We also know what he stands for (global treasure hunting) and what to expect from him (whip cracking adventure). As a screenwriter, I spend a fair amount of time crafting the names of my characters, as I feel the name alone often defines the person. Sometimes I'll even come up with just the name of the character, then write a whole story around that.
The name "Honor Knight" exists for reasons other than avoidance of a tongue twisting last name, or how 'cool' it looks on the page. HONOR stands for being honorable in all that I say and do. I spent 20 years trapped in a bad downward spiral where I wasn't honorable, until I finally crashed. While that journey is a musing for another time, I will say that through such an experience I've radically changed the way I live my life, and I use the name to represent how I live in this moment. It's a matter of personal responsibility. I can't use the name if I can't live up to its meaning. Life is far too short to live on both sides of the fence.
KNIGHT represents the noble warrior, the swordsman, the servant, and the protector. These are qualities that define my soul. I look after the people in my life, and would happily sacrifice myself for their continued growth. I wear metaphorical armor in this challenging world, but the sword is real, as my 20 plus years of wielding a blade fuels my warrior spirit and calms my active mind.
Honor Knight exists to define a life that is independent of other people's projections and expectations. We only get one go around this time out, so there is no reason why it shouldn't be as you see fit. Some people are still wary of my new moniker, others deem it pretentious or immature. One person found it so hysterically funny she laughed in my face for a good five minutes while on a first (and last) date. However, on the flip side there are those that know me only by this name, and those that know just how well it suits my soul in this moment.
The bottom line is that it does suit me, and I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I strive with every breath to live up to its meaning, to live with honor.
Find the name within your soul. Do not settle for what others have chosen for you. For every "Tom Smith" or "Jane Woods" there's a "Dances with Wolves" or "Spits with Camels" waiting to get out. To find your name is to find the courage within to define yourself in this world.
Go find it. The world can use more action heroes.
These are all names that came before Honor Knight. Truth be told, I've always harbored a secret desire to be an action hero, as the above list of names might indicate. A lack of positive male roles models in my life would lead me to follow those brave men's exploits upon the silver screen. I would look up to them and learn from them over the course of my childhood. Even if I wasn't born an action hero, there was no reason I couldn't live like one.
The names we are given at birth don't represent who we are as adults. They don't define us because we have yet to define ourselves in this life. These names are simply projections of how others see us at the time. "He looks like a William." "She looks a Jane." There's a lot of juniors, II's and III's, the product of selfish individuals who want to live forever through the family bloodline. Most of us move through life without a second thought to our given birth names, unless of course it's frequently misspelled or unpronounceable.
I have held three names thus far in the definition of the self. The first was my birth name when my parents were still married. After their divorce, my last name was changed to my mother's maiden name, and stayed that way until Honor Knight came along. I'm not sure of the exact origins of this name, or when it first entered my collective consciousness. As a writer I've toyed with various different pen names, as my mother's last name turned out to be one of those classic Polish names that turn your tongue into knots just trying to pronounce it. Even worse if you're trying to spell it. Regardless of what I came up with, none of them ever felt truly right for me, or looked really good upon the page.
There's something to be said for a cool sounding name. One that instantly conjures an image of a person. One that's memorable, and rolls smoothly off the tongue. Say the name "Indiana Jones", and we instantly know what this person looks like. We also know what he stands for (global treasure hunting) and what to expect from him (whip cracking adventure). As a screenwriter, I spend a fair amount of time crafting the names of my characters, as I feel the name alone often defines the person. Sometimes I'll even come up with just the name of the character, then write a whole story around that.
The name "Honor Knight" exists for reasons other than avoidance of a tongue twisting last name, or how 'cool' it looks on the page. HONOR stands for being honorable in all that I say and do. I spent 20 years trapped in a bad downward spiral where I wasn't honorable, until I finally crashed. While that journey is a musing for another time, I will say that through such an experience I've radically changed the way I live my life, and I use the name to represent how I live in this moment. It's a matter of personal responsibility. I can't use the name if I can't live up to its meaning. Life is far too short to live on both sides of the fence.
KNIGHT represents the noble warrior, the swordsman, the servant, and the protector. These are qualities that define my soul. I look after the people in my life, and would happily sacrifice myself for their continued growth. I wear metaphorical armor in this challenging world, but the sword is real, as my 20 plus years of wielding a blade fuels my warrior spirit and calms my active mind.
Honor Knight exists to define a life that is independent of other people's projections and expectations. We only get one go around this time out, so there is no reason why it shouldn't be as you see fit. Some people are still wary of my new moniker, others deem it pretentious or immature. One person found it so hysterically funny she laughed in my face for a good five minutes while on a first (and last) date. However, on the flip side there are those that know me only by this name, and those that know just how well it suits my soul in this moment.
The bottom line is that it does suit me, and I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I strive with every breath to live up to its meaning, to live with honor.
Find the name within your soul. Do not settle for what others have chosen for you. For every "Tom Smith" or "Jane Woods" there's a "Dances with Wolves" or "Spits with Camels" waiting to get out. To find your name is to find the courage within to define yourself in this world.
Go find it. The world can use more action heroes.
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