The following is more for my own sense of placement in this 'Verse than it is for enlightened reading. Gonna take a few moments to reflect on my various course headings over the past year and see which ones moved me further down the path and which ones left me standing cold. This 'taking stock' is essential for living honorably in this life. One must bravely face both the positive and negative energies that constantly surround us if one wishes continued growth for the soul.
Some of this won't be pretty, but it'll all be honest. Brutally honest, for that's the only way I roll in this life. Spend enough time in the shadows and you will either eventually crave the sunlight, or forever embrace the darkness. I chose the path of light, so I must accept all that goes with it, and that includes shining a light upon all of my darker moments.
So here we go, one final dance with all the moments that made up the year 2009 for my traveling soul...
I've had the privilege of traveling out of state no less than eight times this year (5 to Southern CA, 2 to FL, and once to IL), and those experiences have given my adventurist spirit some much needed nourishment. I had been contained in one place for too long, so it was wonderful to explore a bit more of this 'Verse and remind myself of the view outside the box. Further travel will certainly be on my list in 2010.
I lost the woman I wanted to marry in this life. Due to her inability to communicate effectively, she would self destruct a healthy relationship and crash our ship before I had a chance to grab the controls. I'm still kicking around small pieces of wreckage and wondering why people can't honestly express themselves when they know life is too damn short.
I have maintained my healthy lifestyle over the past year, and am still in the best mental, physical, and spiritual shape of my life. I am extremely proud of this accomplishment, and will continue to live honorably in the 'now' for 2010, and beyond...
On the flip side, due to my overwhelming commitment to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I had inadvertently become a 'self righteous prick' (as a former friend phrased it) and began telling other crew members how they should live their lives. As a result of these judgemental actions, I would lose three crew from my ship before I finally realized what I had been doing. I've addressed the problem, yet the bridges are still smoldering embers. Time will tell if they can one day be rebuilt.
I became an uncle for the second time in my life this year. My sister gave birth prematurely to her son, and as a result, he would dance on the fine edge between this world and the next for several stressful months. Finally, the energy would shift favorably for my family and now the little guy is happily enjoying his first holiday season. I am grateful in 2010 that I will finally get to formally meet him and welcome him to this amazing planet.
I came up with no less than three screenplay ideas, but have yet to complete any of those (or any other) projects this year. I am an artist, so therefore I will act accordingly in 2010.
On the flip side (again), I've started this blog as an outlet for my creative and self defining musings. I am proud of this creation, and look forward to adding to it even more in the coming year.
Finally, as I sat and watched "Up In The Air" on Christmas day, I realized that I had spent the last couple of years emptying my 'backpack' of everything that made up my old, not so honorable, life. While I am grateful to no longer bear the heavy weight, I also noticed that it had become far too quiet in my world. Perhaps it is time to get a little noisy again. Therefore, 2010 will be the year to refill the 'backpack' of my redefined life.
I will travel light, but I won't travel alone. I follow my creed:
Dare to dream.
Fight to feel.
Live to die.
After all, a ship don't fly without a good crew to keep her in the air.
Happy New Year.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Say A Prayer To The Cinema Gods
I was raised in a Roman Catholic household. That meant eight years of Catholic schooling, church every Sunday, Christmas, Easter, and even a stint as an altar boy (unmolested, as far as I know). Throughout this entire experience, I never once felt the 'presence of God' within me or within the church. What I did feel was boredom, usually brought upon by the mindless repetition of prayers and rituals that held absolutely no meaning for me. Faith only has power when you believe in something, so all this standing, kneeling, and chanting seemed rather pointless.
As I grew older and slowly escaped my family's religious grasp, I knew I would have to seek out my own set of 'isms' in the 'Verse that I could actually follow without falling half asleep. In my spiritual travels, I eventually found my way to the belief systems of the Eastern religions (Zen, Buddhism, etc.). These beliefs were less concerned about 'God' as an external entity and more about him as an internal one. We are all 'God' in a sense, having complete control over our own destinies; our souls interconnected with all that surrounds us. A Zen of 'oneness'.
These tenets were far more appealing since they universal in scope, not being constrained to the confines of a 'holy' building, or a rigid set of rules to follow. It was less organized and more organic. I've even adopted a few Pagan beliefs with regards to maintaining a symbiotic relationship with nature. Suddenly a simple walk amongst the trees could become a deeply spiritual experience.
However, as much as I enjoyed the Zen 'tree hugging', I knew I would also need a place to turn when one needs help processing the daily challenges of life. There was no priest, sage, or weekly sermon that I could draw from, and the trees can only say so much (Ents excluded, of course). Where then, was I to turn when I sought understanding, growth, courage, and patience? What religion lie out there that could validate my mortal existence? The answer, not surprisingly, was a) simple, and b) had been with me the whole time:
Film. Motion Pictures. Moving images of dancing light.
This was my religion, my 'ism' in a world of doubt. The screenplay as my scripture, the theater as my church. I realized that I actually had been worshiping about once a week for all those years, just not in a conventional house of worship. I noticed that whenever I needed answers to the challenges I faced, I would turn to film. More often than not, those answers would provide me with more insight than any mindless hour I would spend inside a Catholic church, or 'confessing' to a priest who was probably only half listening at the time.
Film speaks to me, and I listen. It moves me to tears, gives me strength, and offers me comfort in times of need. I am at peace inside a theater. I am home. It is one of my 'sacred' places. Took me a while to wrap my head around the concept that film could be just as valid a spiritual belief as any of the 'organized' religions out there, but when some people believe a dude can blow a horn and aliens will descend to Earth for a UFO pickup, I suppose anything really is possible in this 'Verse. I believe religion, like film, is simply a creation of man. One is not more or less important than the other, as they both can offer solace to help move us through this world.
Film is an integral part of my self definition. It's always been with me, and will continue to be with me, to guide me, as long as I take breath. I cannot ignore what inspires and gives me hope. While there are certainly cheaper religions to follow, I feel the cost of a ticket is nominal considering the return I receive on my investment. Hell, even the lousy films have something worthwhile to say, even if that message is: don't make a movie like this one!
Every weekend I know exactly where to find my faith. It's usually in the center of the row, right before a big white screen, and I never have to kneel. I say a prayer to the cinema gods, knowing we are both equal in this 'Verse. The storyteller and the audience, forever entwined within the tapestry...
Go find yours.
As I grew older and slowly escaped my family's religious grasp, I knew I would have to seek out my own set of 'isms' in the 'Verse that I could actually follow without falling half asleep. In my spiritual travels, I eventually found my way to the belief systems of the Eastern religions (Zen, Buddhism, etc.). These beliefs were less concerned about 'God' as an external entity and more about him as an internal one. We are all 'God' in a sense, having complete control over our own destinies; our souls interconnected with all that surrounds us. A Zen of 'oneness'.
These tenets were far more appealing since they universal in scope, not being constrained to the confines of a 'holy' building, or a rigid set of rules to follow. It was less organized and more organic. I've even adopted a few Pagan beliefs with regards to maintaining a symbiotic relationship with nature. Suddenly a simple walk amongst the trees could become a deeply spiritual experience.
However, as much as I enjoyed the Zen 'tree hugging', I knew I would also need a place to turn when one needs help processing the daily challenges of life. There was no priest, sage, or weekly sermon that I could draw from, and the trees can only say so much (Ents excluded, of course). Where then, was I to turn when I sought understanding, growth, courage, and patience? What religion lie out there that could validate my mortal existence? The answer, not surprisingly, was a) simple, and b) had been with me the whole time:
Film. Motion Pictures. Moving images of dancing light.
This was my religion, my 'ism' in a world of doubt. The screenplay as my scripture, the theater as my church. I realized that I actually had been worshiping about once a week for all those years, just not in a conventional house of worship. I noticed that whenever I needed answers to the challenges I faced, I would turn to film. More often than not, those answers would provide me with more insight than any mindless hour I would spend inside a Catholic church, or 'confessing' to a priest who was probably only half listening at the time.
Film speaks to me, and I listen. It moves me to tears, gives me strength, and offers me comfort in times of need. I am at peace inside a theater. I am home. It is one of my 'sacred' places. Took me a while to wrap my head around the concept that film could be just as valid a spiritual belief as any of the 'organized' religions out there, but when some people believe a dude can blow a horn and aliens will descend to Earth for a UFO pickup, I suppose anything really is possible in this 'Verse. I believe religion, like film, is simply a creation of man. One is not more or less important than the other, as they both can offer solace to help move us through this world.
Film is an integral part of my self definition. It's always been with me, and will continue to be with me, to guide me, as long as I take breath. I cannot ignore what inspires and gives me hope. While there are certainly cheaper religions to follow, I feel the cost of a ticket is nominal considering the return I receive on my investment. Hell, even the lousy films have something worthwhile to say, even if that message is: don't make a movie like this one!
Every weekend I know exactly where to find my faith. It's usually in the center of the row, right before a big white screen, and I never have to kneel. I say a prayer to the cinema gods, knowing we are both equal in this 'Verse. The storyteller and the audience, forever entwined within the tapestry...
Go find yours.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Soapbox Removal
As we take command of our ships in this life and firmly plant ourselves in the Captain's chair, we sometimes lose sight of our course heading regarding our crew, due mainly to the overwhelming sense of empowerment we feel as we take control. We forget that what worked for us may not work for everyone else, and it's ultimately up to them to steer their own boats where they best feel they need to go, and not where you want them to go.
A good friend recently said that there was a fine line between a few words of encouragement, and flat out telling people how to live their lives. People don't like to be meddled with, and it seems that I had forgotten that fine point in the months of late, so much so that I lost no less than three trusted crew from my boat over my own arrogance.
When you live 'outside the box', as I often say, you can see much clearer down the path. Not just for yourself, but for others as well who still continue to live within their own boxes. You want desperately to yank them out of their constraints to get them to see this wonderful, far reaching view, but you can't. You simply can't. Why? Because it's not your job. They must be the ones to take command of their ships, and only them. I mistook 'taking care of your crew' for 'yank them from their boxes regardless of the cost'.
I made the less than effective choice to ignore the warning signs and blaze ahead uninvited down other crew's paths. As they left my boat, I still didn't see that it was my own actions that gave cause for their departure. I stubbornly blamed them for not being able to see what I saw, for not listening to their captain and blindly following his directive. The captain had become too big for his own chair, and I was certainly overdue to have the soapbox kicked out from under me.
That moment would come from one of my most trusted (and now 'former') crew members. I was a captive audience, sitting in heavy traffic as the rain poured down upon the car as we drove to the airport. There was nowhere to go, and after nearly an hour of silence between us, my friend let me have it with both barrels over my actions during the course of our time spent together. I had become a "self righteous prick", and proceeded to tell me how I had been telling them what they needed in their lives to make them better. I even went so far as to embarrass myself with their roommate and another close friend by telling them what they needed as well!
I was finally humbled, knocked from my high perch and returned back to earth. I had went to see my friend in a effort to rebuild a bridge, and through my own arrogant actions, I had inadvertently blown it up, river Kwai style. The long plane flight home gave me ample time to retrace my course heading over the past few months and understand why these precious crew members had left my ship.
My boat keeps flying, but I am saddened over the loss. Life grows too short for me to lose any more crew over my own misguided perceptions of how people should live. Therefore, I'm leaving the soapbox behind. Having a bird's eye view doesn't make you a god. I'm just a captain, one who knows full well that there are always consequences to the choices we make, and some of those are eternal.
My former crew member said it best: "A true friend is someone who lets other friends make their own choices, even if you do not agree with them. You are there to console them when they fail, and celebrate their victory when they succeed."
To sum this long winded post up:
I'm sorry. Deeply sorry for my past actions. You will always be loved, and always be welcomed aboard my boat.
We only move forward in this 'Verse.
A good friend recently said that there was a fine line between a few words of encouragement, and flat out telling people how to live their lives. People don't like to be meddled with, and it seems that I had forgotten that fine point in the months of late, so much so that I lost no less than three trusted crew from my boat over my own arrogance.
When you live 'outside the box', as I often say, you can see much clearer down the path. Not just for yourself, but for others as well who still continue to live within their own boxes. You want desperately to yank them out of their constraints to get them to see this wonderful, far reaching view, but you can't. You simply can't. Why? Because it's not your job. They must be the ones to take command of their ships, and only them. I mistook 'taking care of your crew' for 'yank them from their boxes regardless of the cost'.
I made the less than effective choice to ignore the warning signs and blaze ahead uninvited down other crew's paths. As they left my boat, I still didn't see that it was my own actions that gave cause for their departure. I stubbornly blamed them for not being able to see what I saw, for not listening to their captain and blindly following his directive. The captain had become too big for his own chair, and I was certainly overdue to have the soapbox kicked out from under me.
That moment would come from one of my most trusted (and now 'former') crew members. I was a captive audience, sitting in heavy traffic as the rain poured down upon the car as we drove to the airport. There was nowhere to go, and after nearly an hour of silence between us, my friend let me have it with both barrels over my actions during the course of our time spent together. I had become a "self righteous prick", and proceeded to tell me how I had been telling them what they needed in their lives to make them better. I even went so far as to embarrass myself with their roommate and another close friend by telling them what they needed as well!
I was finally humbled, knocked from my high perch and returned back to earth. I had went to see my friend in a effort to rebuild a bridge, and through my own arrogant actions, I had inadvertently blown it up, river Kwai style. The long plane flight home gave me ample time to retrace my course heading over the past few months and understand why these precious crew members had left my ship.
My boat keeps flying, but I am saddened over the loss. Life grows too short for me to lose any more crew over my own misguided perceptions of how people should live. Therefore, I'm leaving the soapbox behind. Having a bird's eye view doesn't make you a god. I'm just a captain, one who knows full well that there are always consequences to the choices we make, and some of those are eternal.
My former crew member said it best: "A true friend is someone who lets other friends make their own choices, even if you do not agree with them. You are there to console them when they fail, and celebrate their victory when they succeed."
To sum this long winded post up:
I'm sorry. Deeply sorry for my past actions. You will always be loved, and always be welcomed aboard my boat.
We only move forward in this 'Verse.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Personal Creed Decoded Pt. 3
LIVE TO DIE
This is the part of my creed that holds the most confusion. This does not mean to live you life recklessly, without care for your own body and soul, as well as those around you. It does not mean you should indulge in every vice man has ever created, drive at high speeds down a one way street, or embark on a three state looting spree. In other words, taking action in anything that generates negative energy.
"Live to Die" is simply a condensed way of saying; "Live your life as if it was your last day on earth." Live it with passion in every moment you have left. Open your heart wide and love all that surrounds you. Listen to the wind. Feel every emotion as if it was the first time you ever experienced it. Smile. Laugh out loud. Be bold in your endeavors.
As I've stated previously, we only get one go round in this life, so leave everything that doesn't bring you joy behind and focus on the present moment before you. The present moment is all there is, so why shouldn't you be happy while in it?
It's that simple. I honestly don't know if there will be a tomorrow, so I make the most out of today. I take care of my body, my heart, and my soul. I connect with friends. I laugh as often as possible. I am gentle to myself and those around me. I say 'yes' instead of 'no'. I allow myself to cry. I travel to see new places.
I generate positive energy. I make the conscious choice to remain optimistic in a world clouded by pessimism. It's not even about having hope and faith for tomorrow, but rather being mindful of today. I like the feeling of satisfaction that I was present in the 'now' when I retire each night. Many like to say they have their 'good' days and 'bad' days, but why can't every day be a 'good' day?
All comes down to a matter of choice. We choose the day we'd like to have.
Other exist, but I 'live to die', and will continue to do so until it really is my last day in this world...
This is the part of my creed that holds the most confusion. This does not mean to live you life recklessly, without care for your own body and soul, as well as those around you. It does not mean you should indulge in every vice man has ever created, drive at high speeds down a one way street, or embark on a three state looting spree. In other words, taking action in anything that generates negative energy.
"Live to Die" is simply a condensed way of saying; "Live your life as if it was your last day on earth." Live it with passion in every moment you have left. Open your heart wide and love all that surrounds you. Listen to the wind. Feel every emotion as if it was the first time you ever experienced it. Smile. Laugh out loud. Be bold in your endeavors.
As I've stated previously, we only get one go round in this life, so leave everything that doesn't bring you joy behind and focus on the present moment before you. The present moment is all there is, so why shouldn't you be happy while in it?
It's that simple. I honestly don't know if there will be a tomorrow, so I make the most out of today. I take care of my body, my heart, and my soul. I connect with friends. I laugh as often as possible. I am gentle to myself and those around me. I say 'yes' instead of 'no'. I allow myself to cry. I travel to see new places.
I generate positive energy. I make the conscious choice to remain optimistic in a world clouded by pessimism. It's not even about having hope and faith for tomorrow, but rather being mindful of today. I like the feeling of satisfaction that I was present in the 'now' when I retire each night. Many like to say they have their 'good' days and 'bad' days, but why can't every day be a 'good' day?
All comes down to a matter of choice. We choose the day we'd like to have.
Other exist, but I 'live to die', and will continue to do so until it really is my last day in this world...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Guessing Past The Fence
"Learning that we're only immortal for a limited time."
- Rush
I thought I'd take a moment or two to muse upon our own expiration date. This year has been a particularly tough one in the entertainment industry due to a slew of celebrity deaths. That, coupled with few end-of-the-world disaster flicks ("Knowing" and "2012"), it comes as no surprise that we all have mortality on our minds, and where we might venture when our physical life ends in this life.
I never bought into the whole, "Heaven" and "Hell" afterlife as a kid raised in the Catholic church. It just seemed too neat an ending, and the thought of an "All Powerful God" reigning judgment down upon my soul over how I lived my mortal life never sat well with me. I never regard authority figures too highly, for they almost never seem to come from a place of honor. I also maintain a 'see it to believe it' mentality, as I feel that faith only carries you so far, if at all. People are far too quick to chalk up the unhappy events in their lives to "God's will" rather than sitting in their cockpits and flying their own ships.
As I grew older and drifted away from the Catholic faith, I began the search for something a little more 'open ended' when it came to the Great Beyond. The concept of life being a 'one shot' deal didn't seem like nearly enough time for us to nurture our souls through the human condition, especially when some lives are cut short long before they reach their senior years of adult diapers and rocking chairs.
In those early years of my youth, my spiritual quest would lead me to the philosophies of the eastern religions. Zen, Buddhism, Karma, and the like. Within the spiritual constructs lie the belief that essentially we are 'God', masters of our own destinies, and the soul is not just here for a weekend getaway, but returns time and again, one life to the next, on the path to ultimate enlightenment.
I liked the concept of a 'do over'. Being in this life in order to pay off a karmic debt from the last one, then we continue on the path of spiritual growth until we hit the Nirvana jackpot and it is no longer necessary for our souls to return to the Material Plane. Unfortunately, I liked this idea so much that I became lazy in this life and stopped actively living it, believing that if I'm going to come back again, why put forth any effort at all? I would eventually learn (through much pain and stumbling along the path) that I had actually no proof of the reincarnated soul, and if this is indeed a 'one shot' deal, I'd better make the most out of it, as time is never on one's side.
"I don't care what you believe in, just believe in it."
- Shepherd Book
I have no idea what's on the other side of the fence. I have a set of beliefs ('isms that serve as coordinates for my ship), but they could be completely wrong. This is okay, however, because I really like surprises. I can only imagine the look on my face if I found out that 'God' and 'Satan' actually existed, and were milling about the afterlife chucking lightning bolts and pitchforks at each other.
The only thing I know for certain is to live my life with honor, passion, laughter, and love. To live in the positive, regardless of the afterlife outcome. If you're sitting around waiting for Judgment Day, you're probably going to be disappointed. It's like watching a great movie preview, then have the film itself suck.
Monty Python alum Eric Idle sums it up best:
"Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you."
Keep 'em laughing. Now there's a spiritual concept I can really get behind. Why? Because I've seen the outcome with my own two eyes. I've seen the joy in a person's soul, and that to me is a far more spiritual experience that worshiping inside a pew filled building every Sunday, or seeing the image of the Blessed Mary on a Triscuit cracker.
Very Zen to know that the wind moves the trees, rather than to just have faith that one day it might.
- Rush
I thought I'd take a moment or two to muse upon our own expiration date. This year has been a particularly tough one in the entertainment industry due to a slew of celebrity deaths. That, coupled with few end-of-the-world disaster flicks ("Knowing" and "2012"), it comes as no surprise that we all have mortality on our minds, and where we might venture when our physical life ends in this life.
I never bought into the whole, "Heaven" and "Hell" afterlife as a kid raised in the Catholic church. It just seemed too neat an ending, and the thought of an "All Powerful God" reigning judgment down upon my soul over how I lived my mortal life never sat well with me. I never regard authority figures too highly, for they almost never seem to come from a place of honor. I also maintain a 'see it to believe it' mentality, as I feel that faith only carries you so far, if at all. People are far too quick to chalk up the unhappy events in their lives to "God's will" rather than sitting in their cockpits and flying their own ships.
As I grew older and drifted away from the Catholic faith, I began the search for something a little more 'open ended' when it came to the Great Beyond. The concept of life being a 'one shot' deal didn't seem like nearly enough time for us to nurture our souls through the human condition, especially when some lives are cut short long before they reach their senior years of adult diapers and rocking chairs.
In those early years of my youth, my spiritual quest would lead me to the philosophies of the eastern religions. Zen, Buddhism, Karma, and the like. Within the spiritual constructs lie the belief that essentially we are 'God', masters of our own destinies, and the soul is not just here for a weekend getaway, but returns time and again, one life to the next, on the path to ultimate enlightenment.
I liked the concept of a 'do over'. Being in this life in order to pay off a karmic debt from the last one, then we continue on the path of spiritual growth until we hit the Nirvana jackpot and it is no longer necessary for our souls to return to the Material Plane. Unfortunately, I liked this idea so much that I became lazy in this life and stopped actively living it, believing that if I'm going to come back again, why put forth any effort at all? I would eventually learn (through much pain and stumbling along the path) that I had actually no proof of the reincarnated soul, and if this is indeed a 'one shot' deal, I'd better make the most out of it, as time is never on one's side.
"I don't care what you believe in, just believe in it."
- Shepherd Book
I have no idea what's on the other side of the fence. I have a set of beliefs ('isms that serve as coordinates for my ship), but they could be completely wrong. This is okay, however, because I really like surprises. I can only imagine the look on my face if I found out that 'God' and 'Satan' actually existed, and were milling about the afterlife chucking lightning bolts and pitchforks at each other.
The only thing I know for certain is to live my life with honor, passion, laughter, and love. To live in the positive, regardless of the afterlife outcome. If you're sitting around waiting for Judgment Day, you're probably going to be disappointed. It's like watching a great movie preview, then have the film itself suck.
Monty Python alum Eric Idle sums it up best:
"Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you."
Keep 'em laughing. Now there's a spiritual concept I can really get behind. Why? Because I've seen the outcome with my own two eyes. I've seen the joy in a person's soul, and that to me is a far more spiritual experience that worshiping inside a pew filled building every Sunday, or seeing the image of the Blessed Mary on a Triscuit cracker.
Very Zen to know that the wind moves the trees, rather than to just have faith that one day it might.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Personal Creed Decoded Pt. 2
FIGHT TO FEEL
It's easy for us to become disconnected in today's world. We mute our feelings and emotions to the point of suffocation as a protective measure in an effort to effectively deal with the over stimulation and stress that surrounds us on a daily basis. As time goes on, this squashing of feelings eventually has a detrimental effect on how we interact with other human beings. We suffer from MSS (Mister Spock Syndrome), where cold stone logic replaces emotions and passion.
Since we are not half Vulcan, it doesn't do our hearts or souls any good if we cannot properly express ourselves. Feelings have to be allowed to rise to the surface and make waves as they see fit. To not do so denies us our own humanity, and at the end of a long day, that's sometimes all we have left to fall back upon.
It a grown man cries, it is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of processing. Processing is what allows our soul to grow and change as we move through this mortal life. Processing allows us to love, to heal, and to move forward down the path. So many of us move in circles of self repeating patterns because we stifle the necessary feelings that are needed to continue our own development. I spent many years disconnected from the 'Verse, watching life unfold like a black and white movie, unable to participate because I muted my own feelings to such and extent that I nearly lost my own humanity.
"Fight to Feel" means now actively allowing my feeling to rise to the surface to remain interconnected with all that surrounds me. I no longer can stand on the sidelines of my own life and watch the movie unfold. I must express all emotions fully, boldly, and in living Technicolor. This is the Yang solution to my years spent in a Yin of suppression. So yes, I cry when the spirit moves me, whether seated in a darkened theater, or watching leaves fall from a tree. I laugh and smile more than I ever have. Anger is allowed to surface then be released into the void. I don't hold onto negative (or positive) energy longer than is needed.
The 'fight to feel' is an effort to remain centered within every moment. I will not lose my own humanity again. I retain my logical nature, but I also live my life with joy. A delicate balance.
Besides, being a Vulcan is not all it's cracked up to be, except for maybe that neck pinch thing...
It's easy for us to become disconnected in today's world. We mute our feelings and emotions to the point of suffocation as a protective measure in an effort to effectively deal with the over stimulation and stress that surrounds us on a daily basis. As time goes on, this squashing of feelings eventually has a detrimental effect on how we interact with other human beings. We suffer from MSS (Mister Spock Syndrome), where cold stone logic replaces emotions and passion.
Since we are not half Vulcan, it doesn't do our hearts or souls any good if we cannot properly express ourselves. Feelings have to be allowed to rise to the surface and make waves as they see fit. To not do so denies us our own humanity, and at the end of a long day, that's sometimes all we have left to fall back upon.
It a grown man cries, it is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of processing. Processing is what allows our soul to grow and change as we move through this mortal life. Processing allows us to love, to heal, and to move forward down the path. So many of us move in circles of self repeating patterns because we stifle the necessary feelings that are needed to continue our own development. I spent many years disconnected from the 'Verse, watching life unfold like a black and white movie, unable to participate because I muted my own feelings to such and extent that I nearly lost my own humanity.
"Fight to Feel" means now actively allowing my feeling to rise to the surface to remain interconnected with all that surrounds me. I no longer can stand on the sidelines of my own life and watch the movie unfold. I must express all emotions fully, boldly, and in living Technicolor. This is the Yang solution to my years spent in a Yin of suppression. So yes, I cry when the spirit moves me, whether seated in a darkened theater, or watching leaves fall from a tree. I laugh and smile more than I ever have. Anger is allowed to surface then be released into the void. I don't hold onto negative (or positive) energy longer than is needed.
The 'fight to feel' is an effort to remain centered within every moment. I will not lose my own humanity again. I retain my logical nature, but I also live my life with joy. A delicate balance.
Besides, being a Vulcan is not all it's cracked up to be, except for maybe that neck pinch thing...
Boxbreakers
Once you step 'outside the box', you can never go back. By using the metaphor of 'box', I am referring to the metaphorical constraints we build up around our hearts and souls during the course of a lifetime. The 'Verse can be an overwhelming place, and the 'box' allows us to limit its view to the point where we can live under the illusion of safety in this world. Many live their entire lives within this shortsighted box, unaware (or perhaps uncaring) of what lies beyond the walls. Some of us widen the box as we get older to allow more of the 'Verse inside, while others even dare so much as to take a peek over the walls to see what lies beyond their view.
Then there are the scant few of us who step out of the box completely. Once that happens, everything changes. Everything. To live outside the box is to open your soul completely to the 'Verse, and that can be an overwhelming thing for most. So overwhelming that it prevents most of us from ever taking a single step forward to command their ship, perfectly content with the autopilot.
I'd never thought I'd be a boxbreaker in this life, but I am. Took me damn near forty years to do it, but I did. When I stepped outside and the view changed so dramatically, I realized that I could never go back. Never again could I slip back into that comfortable existence of ignorant bliss. I am out here now, and I can only move forward with my continued growth. To backslide now would be to thoroughly crush my soul. I tried to imagine my old life of not living, not caring. I couldn't do it.
Once you've seen the view from the outside, the view inside no longer matters.
I have fundamentally changed for a more positive and balanced life. There's no box in which to return. There are those that live even farther outside the box than I, and I wonder what the view is like for them. As it is, I sometimes have a hard time looking at some of my crew with these new eyes. Those kind souls still contained within their walls, their own self repeating patterns. You want desperately to reach in and yank them out, but you know you can't.
Their box is of their own making, and only they can break down the walls. All we can do is watch, wait, and hope. Sure, we offer support, suggestions, even a fresh perspective. But in the end, the onus of responsibility sits squarely on their shoulders. I have to remind myself that no one yanked me out of my very small box. I did the work. I earned the view.
When one finds the silence, one finds the truth. The more the walls come down, the more our souls grow.
We become limitless. We create the passion. We are unbound.
Then there are the scant few of us who step out of the box completely. Once that happens, everything changes. Everything. To live outside the box is to open your soul completely to the 'Verse, and that can be an overwhelming thing for most. So overwhelming that it prevents most of us from ever taking a single step forward to command their ship, perfectly content with the autopilot.
I'd never thought I'd be a boxbreaker in this life, but I am. Took me damn near forty years to do it, but I did. When I stepped outside and the view changed so dramatically, I realized that I could never go back. Never again could I slip back into that comfortable existence of ignorant bliss. I am out here now, and I can only move forward with my continued growth. To backslide now would be to thoroughly crush my soul. I tried to imagine my old life of not living, not caring. I couldn't do it.
Once you've seen the view from the outside, the view inside no longer matters.
I have fundamentally changed for a more positive and balanced life. There's no box in which to return. There are those that live even farther outside the box than I, and I wonder what the view is like for them. As it is, I sometimes have a hard time looking at some of my crew with these new eyes. Those kind souls still contained within their walls, their own self repeating patterns. You want desperately to reach in and yank them out, but you know you can't.
Their box is of their own making, and only they can break down the walls. All we can do is watch, wait, and hope. Sure, we offer support, suggestions, even a fresh perspective. But in the end, the onus of responsibility sits squarely on their shoulders. I have to remind myself that no one yanked me out of my very small box. I did the work. I earned the view.
When one finds the silence, one finds the truth. The more the walls come down, the more our souls grow.
We become limitless. We create the passion. We are unbound.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Forged In Film
"That's part of your problem: you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies."
- "Grand Canyon"
I spent a lot of time in a darkened cinema growing up. A lot. The 80's were a magic decade for film, and I soaked up every ounce of creativity that Hollywood had to offer. In the days before DVD players and home theater systems, it was not uncommon to see the same film two, three, or four times in a theater during the course of its run. I learned more about life from watching movies than anywhere else. Movies are life's defining moments amplified. By seeing them condensed on a big screen, you learn how to identify these moments throughout the course of a lifetime. You pay attention a little more. Living. Not existing.
My parents divorced when I was in the third grade, and my mother would never remarry. I essentially grew up without any 'real live' male role models in my life. My father lived in another state, and my grandfather had died around the age of five. I had no older brothers, and wasn't a sports fan, so there were no coaches to motivate me in school. I was reared in a house full of women. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it did generate an overabundance of Yin energy which I would later on need to balance out with my Yang energy.
So where's a young, strapping lad to turn for the male heroes in his life? While books did help to some extent, I would find my true male role models in the moving images of the silver screen. Bold, brave, larger than life. Men of action. I learned from these characters. They inspired, motivated, and challenged me in ways that few people did outside the theater.
As a result of this unique upbringing, I would never settle for an ordinary life. Only larger than life. I've found wisdom, love, and comfort from these men throughout the years. They entertained. They never aged. They were always there when I needed them, and still are to this day.
As my time in this life continues, I still find myself turning to the silver screen for male role models. Dirk Pitt (film and novels), Mal Reynolds, and Captain Jack Sparrow are three more that I can add to my extended family. There's a funny sort of irony that most of my screenplay protagonists are, in fact, female. Perhaps I still have a bit of extra Yin energy that has seeped into my writing, fused with a strong backbone of Yang energy. I don't suppose I'll ever stop learning from these men, as well as a few 'real live' mentors I've met in my travels. No matter how old I get, they will always be there.
Young. Vibrant. Alive.
I define myself as larger than life. I cannot be any less than I was taught, and I was taught by the best. In their words...
"Do or do not. There is not try." - Yoda
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Banzai
"You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
- Rocky Balboa
"Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, get squished, just like grape." - Mister Miyagi
"So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave." - Mal Reynolds
"I was born ready!" - Jack Burton
Go see a movie. Find the moments you've been missing.
- "Grand Canyon"
I spent a lot of time in a darkened cinema growing up. A lot. The 80's were a magic decade for film, and I soaked up every ounce of creativity that Hollywood had to offer. In the days before DVD players and home theater systems, it was not uncommon to see the same film two, three, or four times in a theater during the course of its run. I learned more about life from watching movies than anywhere else. Movies are life's defining moments amplified. By seeing them condensed on a big screen, you learn how to identify these moments throughout the course of a lifetime. You pay attention a little more. Living. Not existing.
My parents divorced when I was in the third grade, and my mother would never remarry. I essentially grew up without any 'real live' male role models in my life. My father lived in another state, and my grandfather had died around the age of five. I had no older brothers, and wasn't a sports fan, so there were no coaches to motivate me in school. I was reared in a house full of women. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it did generate an overabundance of Yin energy which I would later on need to balance out with my Yang energy.
So where's a young, strapping lad to turn for the male heroes in his life? While books did help to some extent, I would find my true male role models in the moving images of the silver screen. Bold, brave, larger than life. Men of action. I learned from these characters. They inspired, motivated, and challenged me in ways that few people did outside the theater.
As a result of this unique upbringing, I would never settle for an ordinary life. Only larger than life. I've found wisdom, love, and comfort from these men throughout the years. They entertained. They never aged. They were always there when I needed them, and still are to this day.
As my time in this life continues, I still find myself turning to the silver screen for male role models. Dirk Pitt (film and novels), Mal Reynolds, and Captain Jack Sparrow are three more that I can add to my extended family. There's a funny sort of irony that most of my screenplay protagonists are, in fact, female. Perhaps I still have a bit of extra Yin energy that has seeped into my writing, fused with a strong backbone of Yang energy. I don't suppose I'll ever stop learning from these men, as well as a few 'real live' mentors I've met in my travels. No matter how old I get, they will always be there.
Young. Vibrant. Alive.
I define myself as larger than life. I cannot be any less than I was taught, and I was taught by the best. In their words...
"Do or do not. There is not try." - Yoda
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Banzai
"You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
- Rocky Balboa
"Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, get squished, just like grape." - Mister Miyagi
"So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave." - Mal Reynolds
"I was born ready!" - Jack Burton
Go see a movie. Find the moments you've been missing.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Personal Creed Decoded Pt. 1
As you may have noticed, I live by a personal creed:
Dare to Dream. Fight to Feel. Live to Die.
I believe personal creeds are important in the definition of the self. They keep us from straying too far off the path, set goals for us to reach, and ground us when our ship seems to spin too far out into the 'Verse.
A personal creed should be just that. Personal. I have no problem adapting my life to the guidelines set by others, be it the Ten Commandments (Thou shalt not have ANY fun in this life) or the wisdom of Yoda (There is no try), but in doing so our soul still remains one step removed from it. If we stumble in the execution of the creed of another, we can simply shrug and say those words weren't really meant for us, thus avoiding taking any personal responsibility.
A personal creed, on the other hand, is created by us and defined by all that we are, and all we wish to be. If we fall, we have no one to blame but ourselves. A personal creed binds us to our actions in this life. It forces us to hold ourselves accountable, and that makes it much harder to walk away from the words we have set before our own souls.
With this in mind, I'm going to decoded my own personal creed as an example of how one can create a written self defining statement in this life, then strive each and every day to live up to those words. Onward...
DARE TO DREAM
It's one thing to have dreams. We all share hopes and goals in this life, things we'd like to accomplish within the limited time frame of human existence. However, without the courage and passion needed to pursue those dreams, they will always remain forever out of reach, like a taunting brass ring on the carousel of the 'Verse.
I spent many years keeping my dreams out of reach. I found every excuse in the world not to embrace my passion, to follow the nature of my own soul. Upon that path I found no happiness, no comfort in this world. In the end the dreams would still there, bright and bold as ever, but the time in which to actualize those dreams was now shortened. Time I will never get back in this life. I knew I would finally have to take a stand.
"Dare to Dream" defines my courage and passion to pursue my goals without limits or doubts. I DARE to dream in widescreen, to realize my vision of myself as an artist (screenwriter and filmmaker), swordsman, and adventurist. I then set about on the paths that will allow me to fulfill those dreams without hesitation and without standing still. Life relentlessly moves forward, and one cannot reamin a rock in a fast moving stream.
Dreams die only if we are afraid to make them come true.
As a certain homeless man once said in 1990's "Pretty Woman": "Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin'."
He was referring to life in Hollywood, but I think the message is universal. Dreams may change, but as long as there is courage and passion behind your dreams, you stand an excellent chance of realizing them in this life.
Dare to Dream. Fight to Feel. Live to Die.
I believe personal creeds are important in the definition of the self. They keep us from straying too far off the path, set goals for us to reach, and ground us when our ship seems to spin too far out into the 'Verse.
A personal creed should be just that. Personal. I have no problem adapting my life to the guidelines set by others, be it the Ten Commandments (Thou shalt not have ANY fun in this life) or the wisdom of Yoda (There is no try), but in doing so our soul still remains one step removed from it. If we stumble in the execution of the creed of another, we can simply shrug and say those words weren't really meant for us, thus avoiding taking any personal responsibility.
A personal creed, on the other hand, is created by us and defined by all that we are, and all we wish to be. If we fall, we have no one to blame but ourselves. A personal creed binds us to our actions in this life. It forces us to hold ourselves accountable, and that makes it much harder to walk away from the words we have set before our own souls.
With this in mind, I'm going to decoded my own personal creed as an example of how one can create a written self defining statement in this life, then strive each and every day to live up to those words. Onward...
DARE TO DREAM
It's one thing to have dreams. We all share hopes and goals in this life, things we'd like to accomplish within the limited time frame of human existence. However, without the courage and passion needed to pursue those dreams, they will always remain forever out of reach, like a taunting brass ring on the carousel of the 'Verse.
I spent many years keeping my dreams out of reach. I found every excuse in the world not to embrace my passion, to follow the nature of my own soul. Upon that path I found no happiness, no comfort in this world. In the end the dreams would still there, bright and bold as ever, but the time in which to actualize those dreams was now shortened. Time I will never get back in this life. I knew I would finally have to take a stand.
"Dare to Dream" defines my courage and passion to pursue my goals without limits or doubts. I DARE to dream in widescreen, to realize my vision of myself as an artist (screenwriter and filmmaker), swordsman, and adventurist. I then set about on the paths that will allow me to fulfill those dreams without hesitation and without standing still. Life relentlessly moves forward, and one cannot reamin a rock in a fast moving stream.
Dreams die only if we are afraid to make them come true.
As a certain homeless man once said in 1990's "Pretty Woman": "Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin'."
He was referring to life in Hollywood, but I think the message is universal. Dreams may change, but as long as there is courage and passion behind your dreams, you stand an excellent chance of realizing them in this life.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
On Captains, Crew, And Flying Ships...
METAPHOR: something used, or regarded as being used, to represent something else; emblem; symbol
I believe metaphors are important. They aid in the definition of the self as we move through this oh so brief life. I use them often in my musings, for these symbols help to illustrate the abstract concepts of the 'Verse that I often tackle.
One of the most prevalent metaphors in my life as of late would be the adoption of the whole captain, crew, and ship motif with regards to my own existence and the people that surround me.
My SHIP represents my life as a whole. I'd never been a fan of sailing ships on the open sea. I found boats and the seemingly endless ocean rather boring. Instead I turned to the vastness of space and all the secrets that it holds. Admittedly, I am a child of the space opera. "Star Trek", "Star Wars", "Firefly". I'll take a Millennium Falcon over a Pequod anyday. I see my life (and my soul) as a space boat as it travels through the wide open 'Verse. Oceans alone cannot contain my adventurous spirit. I need to stand on the edge of everything and touch the hand of God. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
As a CAPTAIN, I am in charge of my ship's direction. I fly my ship. I lead my own life, and am entirely responsible for it's course heading. While all of us have a ship, very few of us are seated at the controls. Many of us don't even realize there is a cockpit! They hide out in the cargo hold as their ship moves through life on autopilot, simply existing. They lack the knowledge (and often the courage) that it takes to fly their own boat. As a result, their ship often crashes, and they sift through the wreckage wondering why they cannot change their own self repeating patterns.
Another duty as captain is tending to the needs of my CREW. These are the people that you hold dear in this life. Family, lovers, friends, coworkers. A good crew help keeps your ship in the air. That and a lot of love. To quote a certain Captain Reynolds:
"Love. You can know all the math in the 'Verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her home."
It's a life long journey to efficently manage your crew. As a captain, you are responsible for their safety and well being in this 'Verse. This begins with you. Before you can tend to anyone else, you must first tend to your own soul. There are more than a few pilots out there, but very few captains. It's an often thankless job, and it comes with just as much sacrifice as it does joy. You become 'that guy'. The one everyone looks to when the monsters arrive at the gate, and sometimes it takes more than just having a good blaster at your side to get you through the day.
This space opera metaphor is a strong guiding force in my life. It keeps me on the path, keeps me moving forward, flying straight and true. What metaphors do you use to define your time in this life? Are you a captain? A pilot? A passenger?
It's your ship. Where do you want to go?
Saturday, October 31, 2009
4 + 4 Agreements
Took a while for my ship to crash. Along the way I would come across different sources of inspiration to help keep it flying a bit longer, but in the end I knew she was too badly damaged and needed to go down. What I didn't know at the time was that these bits of inspiration were actually laying the groundwork for a future path that I was to follow. An honorable path.
Aside from films and action heroes, literature also played a strong role in the definition of the self. Robert Pirsig's "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" was one such tome that gave me pause, as did Dan Millman's "Way of the Peaceful Warrior". While I couldn't fully live their words and meanings at the time because of my own delusions, enough of the material seeped through my self constructed walls to help me emerge a better soul from the fiery wreckage of my crash.
Another such literary piece would be the more recent "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. New Age nonsense aside, mister Ruiz listed four practical ways (or agreements) in which one can live a more enlightened life. You can find those agreements here:
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Don_Miguel_Ruiz
Upon my return to this world, I have since adopted Ruiz's four agreements into my life, and they certainly have helped me see the world free from any constructed walls that had previously blocked my view.
But why stop there? These four are a good starting point, but there are other 'agreements' of mine that help to keep my ship flying higher and farther than ever. Here are four Honor Knight agreements which I'd like to contribute to the mix:
5. MAINTAIN A SENSE OF HUMOR
Life is funny. Seriously. Laughter heals, and you should be laughing every moment that you can. My sense of humor (one of the few genuine gifts from my mother) has kept me sane even in the darkest of times. Laughter generates a lot of positive energy, and it's contagious (in a good way), so spread it around. Once you lose your sense of humor, you lose your perspective on what this life truly has to offer. Find the funny.
6. BE CHILDLIKE
This is not to be confused with 'childish', which acting like this would be counterproductive to your self definition. To be childlike like simply means to maintain a wonderment about all that surrounds you in this life. When you were a kid, even the simplest of things were thought to be 'cool', and you know what? They still are. Falling leaves, hermit crabs, the setting sun, and ocean waves never get old no matter how often you experience them. The 'Verse is still a pretty amazing place, regardless of age. Find the 'cool stuff'.
7. KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS
Dirty Harry Callahan taught me this one from "Magnum Force" when he said, "A man's got to know his limitations." How true. To live outside the walls you must know the limits of your own soul, and how best to self define in this world. You may have the passion to be a heart surgeon, but if you can't stand the sight of blood, you may want to rethink your career choice, regardless of how much it means to you. The options may be limitless, but you aren't. Find your balance and you'll find your place.
8. HAVE FUN!
Please lighten up. Just because you're older, you've been through hell, you've had your heart broken, doesn't mean you can't (or shouldn't) still have a great time in this 'Verse. Go out and play. Often. Have fun in all that you do. Only one time around in this life, so don't be a sourpuss. We have enough of those. Find the fun.
So there you have it, four extra agreements to hopefully add balance to your soul. Maybe you'll find value in them for your own life, or maybe you'll follow your own agreements. Please feel free to add to the list.
It's a big 'Verse out there...
Aside from films and action heroes, literature also played a strong role in the definition of the self. Robert Pirsig's "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" was one such tome that gave me pause, as did Dan Millman's "Way of the Peaceful Warrior". While I couldn't fully live their words and meanings at the time because of my own delusions, enough of the material seeped through my self constructed walls to help me emerge a better soul from the fiery wreckage of my crash.
Another such literary piece would be the more recent "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. New Age nonsense aside, mister Ruiz listed four practical ways (or agreements) in which one can live a more enlightened life. You can find those agreements here:
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Don_Miguel_Ruiz
Upon my return to this world, I have since adopted Ruiz's four agreements into my life, and they certainly have helped me see the world free from any constructed walls that had previously blocked my view.
But why stop there? These four are a good starting point, but there are other 'agreements' of mine that help to keep my ship flying higher and farther than ever. Here are four Honor Knight agreements which I'd like to contribute to the mix:
5. MAINTAIN A SENSE OF HUMOR
Life is funny. Seriously. Laughter heals, and you should be laughing every moment that you can. My sense of humor (one of the few genuine gifts from my mother) has kept me sane even in the darkest of times. Laughter generates a lot of positive energy, and it's contagious (in a good way), so spread it around. Once you lose your sense of humor, you lose your perspective on what this life truly has to offer. Find the funny.
6. BE CHILDLIKE
This is not to be confused with 'childish', which acting like this would be counterproductive to your self definition. To be childlike like simply means to maintain a wonderment about all that surrounds you in this life. When you were a kid, even the simplest of things were thought to be 'cool', and you know what? They still are. Falling leaves, hermit crabs, the setting sun, and ocean waves never get old no matter how often you experience them. The 'Verse is still a pretty amazing place, regardless of age. Find the 'cool stuff'.
7. KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS
Dirty Harry Callahan taught me this one from "Magnum Force" when he said, "A man's got to know his limitations." How true. To live outside the walls you must know the limits of your own soul, and how best to self define in this world. You may have the passion to be a heart surgeon, but if you can't stand the sight of blood, you may want to rethink your career choice, regardless of how much it means to you. The options may be limitless, but you aren't. Find your balance and you'll find your place.
8. HAVE FUN!
Please lighten up. Just because you're older, you've been through hell, you've had your heart broken, doesn't mean you can't (or shouldn't) still have a great time in this 'Verse. Go out and play. Often. Have fun in all that you do. Only one time around in this life, so don't be a sourpuss. We have enough of those. Find the fun.
So there you have it, four extra agreements to hopefully add balance to your soul. Maybe you'll find value in them for your own life, or maybe you'll follow your own agreements. Please feel free to add to the list.
It's a big 'Verse out there...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Internal Breakrooms
"You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
Your wanna go where everybody knows
your name."
- "Cheers" theme song
On a typical busy day, the breakroom held so many cast members that it resembled a one room family residence in a third world country. These employees were of all ages, and all walks of life. Regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs, they found themselves bound together by the job, and the close quarters of the small refuge. You would think this melting pot of so many different personalities would be an HR nightmare, but you know what? It never was. Ever.
The breakroom was the Switzerland of our work place. Completely neutral. Conversations consisting of all different topics were always welcome, open, and honest. Sometimes brutally honest. There were no taboo subjects within those walls, and even though it has been many years since I've been a part of that environment, I still remember many of those conversations, some of which would no doubt turn your hair gray, and others still I cannot repeat even unto this day.
Our breakroom was a haven in a world overrun by political correctness, a last resort of sorts where your soul could be laid bare in the company of others. We got a real sense of who each other was, and what we were really about. There were many heated discussions, to be sure, but there were also just as many deeply personal discussions that occured as well. Friendships were forged and lost within that space, but never once did anyone lodge a human resources complaint that they were offended by something they overheard. The unwritten rule was that if you were offended (and ALL of us were at some point), you simply got up and left.
That's it.
Sooner or later the conversation would shift to another topic, and the offended person could return and reengage with the group. It was tough to stay away from such honesty. No matter how upset or angry you were, you always came back. Why? We were afraid to miss anything! These were life's best moments, unfolding right before our eyes and ears. We sure as hell weren't going to miss any of this highlight reel.
Even to this very day, as now 'former' cast members, we're still afraid to miss anything. We gather together once a year to celebrate our time at that job, and the time spent within those walls. Even though some of us haven't seen each other in years, within ten minutes of reuniting we find ourselves back inside the breakroom, where no subject is off limits, and no walls are necessary to shield our souls.
Since the days of that external breakroom have long since passed, I've maintained a sort of internal breakroom that keeps me centered as I move through this 'Verse. It's a place within myself where I can tackle any part of my soul with the same openness and brutal honesty that I found in the company of those coworkers. It's a place of self definition, of healing, of laughter, and of solace. Sometimes a quick trip to the internal breakroom is all I need to rebalance myself when the world tips a little too far in one direction.
Find your own internal breakroom. We all have one tucked away somewhere inside, a judgment free zone, and we need that special place where we can step away from the chaos every now and then and take comfort in the nakedness of our soul.
A place where we know our own name.
people are all the same,
Your wanna go where everybody knows
your name."
- "Cheers" theme song
On a typical busy day, the breakroom held so many cast members that it resembled a one room family residence in a third world country. These employees were of all ages, and all walks of life. Regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs, they found themselves bound together by the job, and the close quarters of the small refuge. You would think this melting pot of so many different personalities would be an HR nightmare, but you know what? It never was. Ever.
The breakroom was the Switzerland of our work place. Completely neutral. Conversations consisting of all different topics were always welcome, open, and honest. Sometimes brutally honest. There were no taboo subjects within those walls, and even though it has been many years since I've been a part of that environment, I still remember many of those conversations, some of which would no doubt turn your hair gray, and others still I cannot repeat even unto this day.
Our breakroom was a haven in a world overrun by political correctness, a last resort of sorts where your soul could be laid bare in the company of others. We got a real sense of who each other was, and what we were really about. There were many heated discussions, to be sure, but there were also just as many deeply personal discussions that occured as well. Friendships were forged and lost within that space, but never once did anyone lodge a human resources complaint that they were offended by something they overheard. The unwritten rule was that if you were offended (and ALL of us were at some point), you simply got up and left.
That's it.
Sooner or later the conversation would shift to another topic, and the offended person could return and reengage with the group. It was tough to stay away from such honesty. No matter how upset or angry you were, you always came back. Why? We were afraid to miss anything! These were life's best moments, unfolding right before our eyes and ears. We sure as hell weren't going to miss any of this highlight reel.
Even to this very day, as now 'former' cast members, we're still afraid to miss anything. We gather together once a year to celebrate our time at that job, and the time spent within those walls. Even though some of us haven't seen each other in years, within ten minutes of reuniting we find ourselves back inside the breakroom, where no subject is off limits, and no walls are necessary to shield our souls.
Since the days of that external breakroom have long since passed, I've maintained a sort of internal breakroom that keeps me centered as I move through this 'Verse. It's a place within myself where I can tackle any part of my soul with the same openness and brutal honesty that I found in the company of those coworkers. It's a place of self definition, of healing, of laughter, and of solace. Sometimes a quick trip to the internal breakroom is all I need to rebalance myself when the world tips a little too far in one direction.
Find your own internal breakroom. We all have one tucked away somewhere inside, a judgment free zone, and we need that special place where we can step away from the chaos every now and then and take comfort in the nakedness of our soul.
A place where we know our own name.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Life As An Action Hero
"Let me strive every moment of my life, to make myself better and better, to the best of my ability, that all may profit by it.
Let me think of the right and lend all my assistance to those who need it, with no regard for anything but justice. Let me take what comes with a smile, without loss of courage. Let me be considerate of my country, of my fellow citizens and my associates in everything I say and do. Let me do right to all, and wrong no man."
- Doc Savage
Here are five things I CANNOT do as a real life action hero:
1. I cannot outrun a fireball.
2. I cannot survive a hail of gunfire by ducking behind a small chair, car door, or immersing myself in water.
3. I cannot hold onto someone dangling over a ledge, window sill, waterfall, or bridge for very long.
4. I cannot survive a multi car pile up with only a small, sexy cut above one of my eyebrows.
5. I cannot utter one or two clever sentences and have woman immediately begin to take their clothes off. (This one, however, is still open for debate. I AM a writer, after all.)
Here are five things that I CAN do as a real life action hero:
1. Be honorable in all that I say and do.
2. Live by a personal creed: "Dare to dream. Fight to feel. Live to die."
3. Have a 'cool' sounding name: Honor Knight (Cool sounding to me, anyway. I'm the one who lives with it.)
4. Be fearless, in shape, and dressed accordingly when adventure calls.
5. Inspire others.
As I've mentioned previously, many of my male role models as a child were action heroes from comics, movies, and literature. So I suppose it's only fitting in the definition of the self that I would eventually model my life after one. However, I found the external trappings of action hero far easier to define than the internal ones. My weapon of choice (the sword), adventure gear (cargo pants, adventure vest, bandanna), and 'cool' adventure name (Honor Knight) came more easily to me than dedicating my life to living honorably in all my actions and words. It would take many years and many burned bridges before I finally allowed my internal self to match the external self.
Not having to live within the lies we create for ourselves can be very liberating. Years ago I may have had the spirit of an action hero, but lacked the courage to live up to those high ideals. Now my mind, body, and soul are fused together and ready for all that the 'Verse has to throw at me.
We are who we choose to be, and therein lies the happiness. So yes, I do still get chuckles over my name, weapon of choice, and appearance, but that's okay. I'm the one who has to live with me, and I stand tall, proudly defined in this life. Besides, the world needs more action heroes.
Now if only there was some way I could get my own action figure...
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Passionate Maintenance
"Passion is the element in which we live; without it, we hardly vegetate."
- Lord Byron
I vividly remember an instructor I once had while training for the Smith System of driving. He was a tall, barroom brawl, burly man. Bushy mustache, wild hair. Clearly someone who has seen more than a few road miles in his time. What made him stand out even more than his appearance was his training technique. He didn't simply read off a bunch of statistics in that I'm-so-bored-with-my-job monotone voice we've all heard at one point or another in our travels. If that were the case, I surely wouldn't be writing about him now. And don't call me Shirley. His approach was slightly different...
He screamed at us. A LOT. He yelled, laughed, ranted, jumped up and down, threw chairs, and yelled some more. This would go on almost non stop over the course of two, eight hour training classes. Many of us thought the man was either on some kind of medication, or off some kind of medication. Either way, we certainly couldn't ignore him, and had no choice but to listen to what the man had to say.
Three years later, not only do I still remember that instructor, but I still actively utilize the safe driving techniques he taught us in that class, and because of his unorthodox method of teaching, I have avoided several near accidents on the road since then. He made me a better driver. Why? Because of his fearless passion for safe driving and safe drivers.
You see, he wasn't crazy at all. He was passionate for what he did. Truly passionate. That guy had his inner fire burning so hot that we all felt the heat. However, I've come to discover that passion only stays around if we actively tend to it, like a roaring campfire. We have to keep adding metaphorical 'logs' to keep it going. If not, the fires of passion will simply smolder and die out. Passion is not a given. It's there for the taking, but you have to tend to it, and if it does go out, you have to find some kindling to get it roaring once again.
Passionate maintenance is just as important for the balance of the soul as an oil change is for your car. It keeps them both moving forward, and as well know, that is the only direction we can (and must) go. If you let your passion die (be it love for work or someone else), it is your responsibility to get the fire going again. You can't wait around for passion (or anything else, for that matter), just like you can't wait around for firewood to spontaneously combust. It takes action on your part to get it going, then it takes maintenance to keep it going. Whether that maintenance takes the form of attending a film festival (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), or being inspired by a movie trailer, it's up to you to generate the heat that fuels the soul.
So yes, sometimes you have to yell, laugh, rant, jump up and down, and throw chairs to keep that fire burning, and that's okay. It's your passionate maintenance, and it may result in the creation of art, the bonding of love, or the saving of lives on the open road.
I owe my life to one man's passion for safety, and I was only in his company for sixteen hours.
Imagine the effect that our passion could have on those we see everyday...
- Lord Byron
I vividly remember an instructor I once had while training for the Smith System of driving. He was a tall, barroom brawl, burly man. Bushy mustache, wild hair. Clearly someone who has seen more than a few road miles in his time. What made him stand out even more than his appearance was his training technique. He didn't simply read off a bunch of statistics in that I'm-so-bored-with-my-job monotone voice we've all heard at one point or another in our travels. If that were the case, I surely wouldn't be writing about him now. And don't call me Shirley. His approach was slightly different...
He screamed at us. A LOT. He yelled, laughed, ranted, jumped up and down, threw chairs, and yelled some more. This would go on almost non stop over the course of two, eight hour training classes. Many of us thought the man was either on some kind of medication, or off some kind of medication. Either way, we certainly couldn't ignore him, and had no choice but to listen to what the man had to say.
Three years later, not only do I still remember that instructor, but I still actively utilize the safe driving techniques he taught us in that class, and because of his unorthodox method of teaching, I have avoided several near accidents on the road since then. He made me a better driver. Why? Because of his fearless passion for safe driving and safe drivers.
You see, he wasn't crazy at all. He was passionate for what he did. Truly passionate. That guy had his inner fire burning so hot that we all felt the heat. However, I've come to discover that passion only stays around if we actively tend to it, like a roaring campfire. We have to keep adding metaphorical 'logs' to keep it going. If not, the fires of passion will simply smolder and die out. Passion is not a given. It's there for the taking, but you have to tend to it, and if it does go out, you have to find some kindling to get it roaring once again.
Passionate maintenance is just as important for the balance of the soul as an oil change is for your car. It keeps them both moving forward, and as well know, that is the only direction we can (and must) go. If you let your passion die (be it love for work or someone else), it is your responsibility to get the fire going again. You can't wait around for passion (or anything else, for that matter), just like you can't wait around for firewood to spontaneously combust. It takes action on your part to get it going, then it takes maintenance to keep it going. Whether that maintenance takes the form of attending a film festival (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), or being inspired by a movie trailer, it's up to you to generate the heat that fuels the soul.
So yes, sometimes you have to yell, laugh, rant, jump up and down, and throw chairs to keep that fire burning, and that's okay. It's your passionate maintenance, and it may result in the creation of art, the bonding of love, or the saving of lives on the open road.
I owe my life to one man's passion for safety, and I was only in his company for sixteen hours.
Imagine the effect that our passion could have on those we see everyday...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Can You Hear Me Now?
About.com has this to say about Mercury Retrograde:
This happens three to four times per year, when the planet Mercury slows down, and appears to stop (station) and move backward (retrograde). It's an optical illusion, since there is forward movement, like speeding by a slow-moving train -- as it recedes, it appears to go backward.
Since Mercury rules communication, it's said that everything goes haywire in that area -- emails get deleted or bounced back, mail is returned, calls go out into the ethers, etc. Some people find that their computers go on the fritz or phone lines go down. I've never seen the hard data on this, so make your own observations. It does seem though that miscommunications abound during the retrograde period.
Mercury retrograde gives us time to catch up with ourselves, and to look back. Something from the past might return in a different form. This can mean people, ideas or buried insights that need to surface for you to move forward. Often it's felt as a contemplative time, depending on the sign, a chance to go over old ground again, to claim what you missed the first time.
I first came across the concept of Mercury Retrograde while living amongst a Pagan community. Unfortunately, Pagans often get lumped in with Witchcraft and practitioners of the Dark Arts. The reality is far less exciting, as these gentle earth worshipers are more artsy craftsy folk who are simply more in tune with nature's energies. While some people celebrate Easter and Christmas, Pagans celebrate Maypole and Yule. So no, it wasn't like living with the three sisters from "Charmed".
I like the idea of a period of inward reflection, a 'time out' for the soul, if you will. We need these moments in our lives to rebalance ourselves before we can move forward again. It's rather easy to get stuck in your own head, as even I would discover recently. It took my own fearless copilot to point out that I wasn't flying my ship as I should be in this current period of Mercury Retrograde, which runs from September 7th to the 29th. I had been disconnected, my ship on autopilot. She effectively communicated this to me, and I was able to immediately see the disconnection and take steps to correct it.
That's another great thing about this period of introspection. It's gives us the opportunity to work on our effective communication skills with each other. A time to say clearly what we mean so there are no mixed signals or crossed wires. Water can flow effortlessly over the rocks. Those lost TV receptions, dropped cell phone calls, and lost emails are actually a blessing, so embrace them. The energy shifts, nudging us to find ways to communicate more honestly (or honorably) in this life.
I had been walking one day a week sans musical accompaniment in an effort to remain connected in the moment, but I think I'll leave the music home for the duration of the Retrograde and listen to my inner voice for all that it has to say. Yes, I know that Kenny Loggins still wants me to fly the "Danger Zone", but I'm sure even Kenny landed his jet once in a while to contemplate the setting of the sun.
This happens three to four times per year, when the planet Mercury slows down, and appears to stop (station) and move backward (retrograde). It's an optical illusion, since there is forward movement, like speeding by a slow-moving train -- as it recedes, it appears to go backward.
Since Mercury rules communication, it's said that everything goes haywire in that area -- emails get deleted or bounced back, mail is returned, calls go out into the ethers, etc. Some people find that their computers go on the fritz or phone lines go down. I've never seen the hard data on this, so make your own observations. It does seem though that miscommunications abound during the retrograde period.
Mercury retrograde gives us time to catch up with ourselves, and to look back. Something from the past might return in a different form. This can mean people, ideas or buried insights that need to surface for you to move forward. Often it's felt as a contemplative time, depending on the sign, a chance to go over old ground again, to claim what you missed the first time.
I first came across the concept of Mercury Retrograde while living amongst a Pagan community. Unfortunately, Pagans often get lumped in with Witchcraft and practitioners of the Dark Arts. The reality is far less exciting, as these gentle earth worshipers are more artsy craftsy folk who are simply more in tune with nature's energies. While some people celebrate Easter and Christmas, Pagans celebrate Maypole and Yule. So no, it wasn't like living with the three sisters from "Charmed".
I like the idea of a period of inward reflection, a 'time out' for the soul, if you will. We need these moments in our lives to rebalance ourselves before we can move forward again. It's rather easy to get stuck in your own head, as even I would discover recently. It took my own fearless copilot to point out that I wasn't flying my ship as I should be in this current period of Mercury Retrograde, which runs from September 7th to the 29th. I had been disconnected, my ship on autopilot. She effectively communicated this to me, and I was able to immediately see the disconnection and take steps to correct it.
That's another great thing about this period of introspection. It's gives us the opportunity to work on our effective communication skills with each other. A time to say clearly what we mean so there are no mixed signals or crossed wires. Water can flow effortlessly over the rocks. Those lost TV receptions, dropped cell phone calls, and lost emails are actually a blessing, so embrace them. The energy shifts, nudging us to find ways to communicate more honestly (or honorably) in this life.
I had been walking one day a week sans musical accompaniment in an effort to remain connected in the moment, but I think I'll leave the music home for the duration of the Retrograde and listen to my inner voice for all that it has to say. Yes, I know that Kenny Loggins still wants me to fly the "Danger Zone", but I'm sure even Kenny landed his jet once in a while to contemplate the setting of the sun.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Paddle Forward
If you're not moving, then you're standing still.
You don't have time to stand still.
Get moving.
I remember my first white water rafting trip when I was still a teenager in high school. I believe it was a chilly weekend in September, on a river nestled amongst the Pocono mountains of Pennsylvania. The rains were heavy that year, so the waters were higher than normal, and very fast moving over the rocks. We had been thoroughly briefed on the nature of the beast, and with paddles in hand, we challenged the turbulent waters of the Lehigh river mounted in our six passenger raft.
Somewhere in the middle of our trip, we encountered a particularly nasty set of rapids where timing and precise maneuvering would be critical in keeping our raft upright and us firmly in our seats. The sound of the water was deafening as we entered the maelstrom. The river quickly figured out we were novices and promptly took control of our raft, steering it towards some rather large rocks that eat boats like ours for breakfast.
I panicked in that moment and frantically began to back paddle against the unrelenting waters in an futile effort to halt our present course. Futile because a) the river was far stronger than I, and b) everyone else was still paddling forward. I remember screaming, "We're not going to make it! We're not going to make it!" as I tried in vain to move us away from the rocks.
"Paddle hard! Paddle FORWARD hard!" I heard another crew member scream. Without much of a choice, I plunged my paddle into the waters in a forward motion with every last bit of strength I had as I joined the others in moving the raft past the rocks. There we were, bounding headlong into the chaos, hoping that sheer determination alone would guide us through the daunting white waters.
The gamble paid off. We sailed swiftly past the obstacles and into a quiet, slow moving part of the Lehigh without so much as one bump against stone. I remember feeling rather embarrassed about my panic attack. I hesitated. I tried to put a rock down in a fast moving stream, instead of trusting the waters to carry me through. Self doubt nearly got the better of me that day, and had my crew members followed my lead of self doubt, I'm certain the my actions would have capsized the raft, and we all would have went for a swim.
Life moves in only one direction, and even if we want to stand still, we really can't. To do so, we risk capsizing all that we are. With metaphorical 'paddle' in hand, we can only move forward into the obstacles that challenge our path. I would learn this lesson many times over the years, and I continue to relearn it as life reveals even more challenging directions. Every time I feel the urge to back paddle, I remind myself that the quiet part of the river, the 'inner Zen' of the soul, lies before me, and not where I already am, or already have been.
Paddle forward. Paddle with everything you've got. This river of life ain't gonna stop moving, and neither should you.
You don't have time to stand still.
Get moving.
I remember my first white water rafting trip when I was still a teenager in high school. I believe it was a chilly weekend in September, on a river nestled amongst the Pocono mountains of Pennsylvania. The rains were heavy that year, so the waters were higher than normal, and very fast moving over the rocks. We had been thoroughly briefed on the nature of the beast, and with paddles in hand, we challenged the turbulent waters of the Lehigh river mounted in our six passenger raft.
Somewhere in the middle of our trip, we encountered a particularly nasty set of rapids where timing and precise maneuvering would be critical in keeping our raft upright and us firmly in our seats. The sound of the water was deafening as we entered the maelstrom. The river quickly figured out we were novices and promptly took control of our raft, steering it towards some rather large rocks that eat boats like ours for breakfast.
I panicked in that moment and frantically began to back paddle against the unrelenting waters in an futile effort to halt our present course. Futile because a) the river was far stronger than I, and b) everyone else was still paddling forward. I remember screaming, "We're not going to make it! We're not going to make it!" as I tried in vain to move us away from the rocks.
"Paddle hard! Paddle FORWARD hard!" I heard another crew member scream. Without much of a choice, I plunged my paddle into the waters in a forward motion with every last bit of strength I had as I joined the others in moving the raft past the rocks. There we were, bounding headlong into the chaos, hoping that sheer determination alone would guide us through the daunting white waters.
The gamble paid off. We sailed swiftly past the obstacles and into a quiet, slow moving part of the Lehigh without so much as one bump against stone. I remember feeling rather embarrassed about my panic attack. I hesitated. I tried to put a rock down in a fast moving stream, instead of trusting the waters to carry me through. Self doubt nearly got the better of me that day, and had my crew members followed my lead of self doubt, I'm certain the my actions would have capsized the raft, and we all would have went for a swim.
Life moves in only one direction, and even if we want to stand still, we really can't. To do so, we risk capsizing all that we are. With metaphorical 'paddle' in hand, we can only move forward into the obstacles that challenge our path. I would learn this lesson many times over the years, and I continue to relearn it as life reveals even more challenging directions. Every time I feel the urge to back paddle, I remind myself that the quiet part of the river, the 'inner Zen' of the soul, lies before me, and not where I already am, or already have been.
Paddle forward. Paddle with everything you've got. This river of life ain't gonna stop moving, and neither should you.
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Sounds Of Silence
I take one day a week of my daily walk to leave the mp3 player behind and embrace the silence. Of course, it's not really silent. The sounds of passing cars, jingling keys, birds, footsteps, and other ambient noises surround me as I stroll, yet I still find solitude within that keeps me in the moment and allows me to sit with the self. Besides, you can only listen to "Danger Zone" so many times.
The world has become far too noisy as of late. We are constantly bombarded with sound, so much so that it often drowns out the sound of not only our outer voice, but our inner one as well. If we can't hear our inner voice, how can we continue to define ourselves in this life? We've come to rely on external voices to get us through our day. We've become passive in this life, allowing others to think what's best for us, instead of finding out what's best for ourselves.
Do you know what your breath sounds like? Or your footsteps as you move around? When was the last time you sat in complete silence? If you can't remember, then it's been too long. When you're raised in a world of noise, complete silence can be intimidating, frightening even. Some are so afraid, they would rather talk aloud to themselves just to hear the sound of their own voice rather than deal with the silence. However, the path to accepting personal responsibility lies within the ability to listen to the self. We don't want to face the truth, truth that we already know, but it is necessary for our own personal growth if we want to move forward in this world.
I try to sit in silence as often as I can. I find comfort in the quiet spaces, a sense of peace that allows me to process my thoughts, to get a clear sense of my own being. You'd be surprised at how much you can learn by closing your mouth. The world opens up a little more. Problems find solutions. You hear the sound of rushing water and relate it to the movement in your own life. Sit in silence long enough and you'll learn how to maintain that Zen state even when surrounded by volume.
My music keeps me motivated on my daily walks, but the silence keeps me centered within my place in the 'Verse. I become one with the passing cars, the jingling keys, the footsteps and the birds. I allow their sounds to pass through me, and I find myself more interconnected with the world, rather than separate from it. This is one reason why people fear the silence, why they cloak themselves in noise. They want desperately to be connected to the world, and they fear that if it is silent, they won't be. Hence the constant barrage of auditory intrusions. TVs, radios, cell phones, video games, and other chattering noise makers. They create a false sense of safety.
The truth lies in the opposite. Within the quiet is where we are truly connected, where it all comes together in a sort of 'harmonic convergence' with the 'Verse.
Spend some time in the silence. Hear the sound of you own smile. There is much to be learned in the quiet of the moment. After all, moments are what make up a life. You really don't want to miss any, so stop talking and start listening. Your soul (and your ears) will thank you.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
- Simon and Garfunkel
The world has become far too noisy as of late. We are constantly bombarded with sound, so much so that it often drowns out the sound of not only our outer voice, but our inner one as well. If we can't hear our inner voice, how can we continue to define ourselves in this life? We've come to rely on external voices to get us through our day. We've become passive in this life, allowing others to think what's best for us, instead of finding out what's best for ourselves.
Do you know what your breath sounds like? Or your footsteps as you move around? When was the last time you sat in complete silence? If you can't remember, then it's been too long. When you're raised in a world of noise, complete silence can be intimidating, frightening even. Some are so afraid, they would rather talk aloud to themselves just to hear the sound of their own voice rather than deal with the silence. However, the path to accepting personal responsibility lies within the ability to listen to the self. We don't want to face the truth, truth that we already know, but it is necessary for our own personal growth if we want to move forward in this world.
I try to sit in silence as often as I can. I find comfort in the quiet spaces, a sense of peace that allows me to process my thoughts, to get a clear sense of my own being. You'd be surprised at how much you can learn by closing your mouth. The world opens up a little more. Problems find solutions. You hear the sound of rushing water and relate it to the movement in your own life. Sit in silence long enough and you'll learn how to maintain that Zen state even when surrounded by volume.
My music keeps me motivated on my daily walks, but the silence keeps me centered within my place in the 'Verse. I become one with the passing cars, the jingling keys, the footsteps and the birds. I allow their sounds to pass through me, and I find myself more interconnected with the world, rather than separate from it. This is one reason why people fear the silence, why they cloak themselves in noise. They want desperately to be connected to the world, and they fear that if it is silent, they won't be. Hence the constant barrage of auditory intrusions. TVs, radios, cell phones, video games, and other chattering noise makers. They create a false sense of safety.
The truth lies in the opposite. Within the quiet is where we are truly connected, where it all comes together in a sort of 'harmonic convergence' with the 'Verse.
Spend some time in the silence. Hear the sound of you own smile. There is much to be learned in the quiet of the moment. After all, moments are what make up a life. You really don't want to miss any, so stop talking and start listening. Your soul (and your ears) will thank you.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
- Simon and Garfunkel
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Passion Unto Death
"If I die, what a beautiful death! To die in the exercise of your passion."
- Philippe Petit
Mister Petit is still very much alive. He was the subject of the 2008 documentary, "Man on Wire", where in 1974 he successfully wire walked between the Twin Towers of NYC for 45 minutes of total Zen, brought about by his sheer passion for what he was put on this earth to do. Here was a man who had an overpowering dream and set upon a path to make it come true. He accomplished something no one had done previously, and that no one would replicate after. For that feat, that dream, that passion, he became legend. What's more, he believed in himself and what he was doing so much that he was willing to die in the execution of his dreams.
How many of us are willing to throw ourselves so completely into the fires of passion?
Passion is key to the continued movement of our energy, the flow of our water. Without passion, we sit like a small boat on the water, waiting for strong breeze to blow through our sails. Of course, many of us fail to realize that we don't even have our sails up in the first place, let alone waiting for the wind to move us. Passion and self definition will be recurring themes in our ongoing discourse. Passion ignites our desire, and it's important to know where you keep the matches. What are your loves in this world, and why aren't you feeding those loves?
Animal expert Steve Irwin gave an interview several years before his death where he told the reporter point blank the he firmly believed the reason he was put upon this earth was to spread the message of conservation, and how important it was to our continued survival as a species. This man lived his passion, truly lived his passion, and he died doing what he loved. I never saw his death as a tragedy for exactly this reason. He was in the water, swimming amongst the marine life, filming a show on just how amazing these creatures were. What better way to leave this world (and a legacy) than in a perfect moment of Zen?
"Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what he loves."
- Blaise Pascal
Find your passion. Time is far too short to sit idle in your boat without a breeze. Find the reason you were put on this earth. The answers are probably a lot closer than you think.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Unholy Trinity
I don't know. What if. But.
To effectively define the self, one must first be honest in all that they are and all that is around them. Brutally honest. Lying is a way of life for most, and it can take a tremendous amount of effort to undo all that bad programming we've had since childhood, but it can be done. Life is always changing, and there's no reason why you can't live your life honorably just as you live it without honor. Change your perspective and you'll be able to make more effective choices about all that surrounds you.
Honesty starts with you. You are the center of your own 'Verse, and you can shape your reality any way you see fit in both word and deed. One good way to generate some positive energy is to eliminate the following three phrases from your vocabulary. You don't need them. You never did, and by continuing to use them, you are holding yourself back from your own self definition.
I DON'T KNOW
Find out!! If you're using this phrase you are more than likely to be lazy and live in fear. With the ample amount of resources available today, there is no excuse for you not to find the information that you need to know. The Internet is at your fingertips, so stop procrastinating and start typing. If the 'I don't knows' are internal, then take some time to sit with yourself and figure it out. The world is a noisy place, and we use that noise as a buffer to drown out the sound of our own internal monologue. We can't process what we can't hear. Again, this is a lazy way to live your life. If you're living in fear, then you're not really living. You need to find the answers within yourself in order to move forward. The 'I don't knows' won't cut it. Find a quiet space to process your thoughts. The answers are all right before you, as is the courage you need to reach for them. So reach!
WHAT IF
This phrase is reserved for those who are constantly looking in the rear view mirrors of their lives. "What if I had gone out with him in high school?" "What if I had tried harder?" "What if I didn't break that promise?" Enough already. You live in the present. They call it a past for a reason, because it's already happened. You can't change it, and no amount of dwelling upon past events (positive or negative) will change the outcome of your reality in the present moment, so leave it alone. This is wasted energy. Energy that could be better spent dealing with what's in front of you, and planning for a hopeful future. It's okay to learn from the past, but you shouldn't live there.
BUT
This one is for the fence walkers out there. "I'd like to go, but..." Embrace the black and white of the Yin/Yang and make a decision already. The world is not clouded in gray. It's either yes or no. This or that. Now or later. As Yoda said, "Do or do not. There is no try." Fence walkers never move anywhere, and life's too amazingly short not to be moving somewhere. So what if it's the wrong direction? That's how you learn. Make a decision and follow it through to the end. If you don't end up where you wanted, make another decision and see where that leads you. If you're using 'but' in a sentence, you're not being honest with yourself, and like I said earlier, honesty begins with you.
This 'unholy trinity' of phrases act like dams in your stream, preventing your water from flowing. Remove them from your vocabulary and start moving in this world. We are energy. We are always in motion, so find out what you need to know. Live in the present moment. Make effective choices.
The 'Verse waits with open arms.
To effectively define the self, one must first be honest in all that they are and all that is around them. Brutally honest. Lying is a way of life for most, and it can take a tremendous amount of effort to undo all that bad programming we've had since childhood, but it can be done. Life is always changing, and there's no reason why you can't live your life honorably just as you live it without honor. Change your perspective and you'll be able to make more effective choices about all that surrounds you.
Honesty starts with you. You are the center of your own 'Verse, and you can shape your reality any way you see fit in both word and deed. One good way to generate some positive energy is to eliminate the following three phrases from your vocabulary. You don't need them. You never did, and by continuing to use them, you are holding yourself back from your own self definition.
I DON'T KNOW
Find out!! If you're using this phrase you are more than likely to be lazy and live in fear. With the ample amount of resources available today, there is no excuse for you not to find the information that you need to know. The Internet is at your fingertips, so stop procrastinating and start typing. If the 'I don't knows' are internal, then take some time to sit with yourself and figure it out. The world is a noisy place, and we use that noise as a buffer to drown out the sound of our own internal monologue. We can't process what we can't hear. Again, this is a lazy way to live your life. If you're living in fear, then you're not really living. You need to find the answers within yourself in order to move forward. The 'I don't knows' won't cut it. Find a quiet space to process your thoughts. The answers are all right before you, as is the courage you need to reach for them. So reach!
WHAT IF
This phrase is reserved for those who are constantly looking in the rear view mirrors of their lives. "What if I had gone out with him in high school?" "What if I had tried harder?" "What if I didn't break that promise?" Enough already. You live in the present. They call it a past for a reason, because it's already happened. You can't change it, and no amount of dwelling upon past events (positive or negative) will change the outcome of your reality in the present moment, so leave it alone. This is wasted energy. Energy that could be better spent dealing with what's in front of you, and planning for a hopeful future. It's okay to learn from the past, but you shouldn't live there.
BUT
This one is for the fence walkers out there. "I'd like to go, but..." Embrace the black and white of the Yin/Yang and make a decision already. The world is not clouded in gray. It's either yes or no. This or that. Now or later. As Yoda said, "Do or do not. There is no try." Fence walkers never move anywhere, and life's too amazingly short not to be moving somewhere. So what if it's the wrong direction? That's how you learn. Make a decision and follow it through to the end. If you don't end up where you wanted, make another decision and see where that leads you. If you're using 'but' in a sentence, you're not being honest with yourself, and like I said earlier, honesty begins with you.
This 'unholy trinity' of phrases act like dams in your stream, preventing your water from flowing. Remove them from your vocabulary and start moving in this world. We are energy. We are always in motion, so find out what you need to know. Live in the present moment. Make effective choices.
The 'Verse waits with open arms.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The Benny Hill Incident
"Do unto others, then run."
- Benny Hill
The late mister Hill was responsible for one of the worst beatings in my life, though not directly so. As a young lad of about ten, I would stay up late on Saturday nights and watch "The Benny Hill Show", much to my parents dismay. At that age I thought Benny stood at the apex of comedy in the western hemisphere, perhaps the world. A young boy could only handle so much sexual innuendo and attractive women, especially on TV!
One particular Saturday, Benny ran a sketch that involved a priest on a talk show with the fly to his pants undone and his underwear exposed for the audience to see. Of course, any questions that were asked to him would be indirectly related to his open fly. "The Catholic church should let it all hang out...", and so on. So impressed by this piece of comedy gold (which still holds some magic to it 30 years later), I decided to share this sketch with my younger sister.
In the car. On a Sunday. On the way home from Catholic mass.
I'm sure you've heard the expression, "stop on a dime", but I never knew what that actually meant until then. My mother, who was behind the wheel, shot one eyeball into the rear view mirror upon hearing my sister giggling uncontrollably. There I was, in mid-sketch with my fly undone and my Underoos exposed. Failing to see the humor of me imitating a Catholic priest with an open fly only moments after receiving the Body of Christ, she took a multi ton vehicle from 35mph to a dead stop in the blink of an eye.
Before I could even zip up, she catapulted over the front seat like an Olympic high jumper to get at me. I don't remember much after that, except for my sister crying and my mother chanting, "I'll let it all hang out!" over and over as she hit me. Needless to say, I wouldn't be watching Benny again for quite some time. However, there is one thing that I would never stop doing.
I would never stop laughing.
A sense of humor is one of the most important weapons in your arsenal as you move down the path. The world's a pretty funny place, and I learned early on how valuable the healing power of laughter can be. Despite my mother's objection to the Sunday morning Benny show, she actually had a keen sense of humor, and that's one of the more positive traits my sister and I inherited from her as we grew up.
I've learned to see the humor in all things. Having traversed some dark paths in my life, I can say with certainty that laughter has been a shining light in the blackness. It generates a significant amount of positive energy, which helps to maintain the balance of the soul. It has kept me youthful, energetic, and Zen.
When was the last time you laughed really hard? I mean, really hard, like can't breathe, tears streaming down the face, hard? If you can't recall, then it's been too long, and you need to laugh. Right now. There's plenty of funny material to be found out there, from the intelligent musings of the Monty Python troupe, all the way down to the vulgar diatribes of Katt Williams. There's something funny for everyone. Regardless of how difficult you believe your life is, a good laugh will make it a bit less difficult.
Even hearing someone else's laughter can be healing. I recently heard my copilot's true laughter, the 'from the gut' laughter, that filled the room as we watched a stand up comedian on TV. It was the first time I had heard this from her soul, and I can still hear it in my head even now, several months later. You know what that does?
It puts a smile on my face. Makes my world a little brighter.
Listen to the laughter from others, especially children. Find the laughter within yourself, and let it out. Let your soul be nourished by the humor of the 'Verse.
Perhaps you could even watch some Benny Hill. Just make sure mom is not around.
- Benny Hill
The late mister Hill was responsible for one of the worst beatings in my life, though not directly so. As a young lad of about ten, I would stay up late on Saturday nights and watch "The Benny Hill Show", much to my parents dismay. At that age I thought Benny stood at the apex of comedy in the western hemisphere, perhaps the world. A young boy could only handle so much sexual innuendo and attractive women, especially on TV!
One particular Saturday, Benny ran a sketch that involved a priest on a talk show with the fly to his pants undone and his underwear exposed for the audience to see. Of course, any questions that were asked to him would be indirectly related to his open fly. "The Catholic church should let it all hang out...", and so on. So impressed by this piece of comedy gold (which still holds some magic to it 30 years later), I decided to share this sketch with my younger sister.
In the car. On a Sunday. On the way home from Catholic mass.
I'm sure you've heard the expression, "stop on a dime", but I never knew what that actually meant until then. My mother, who was behind the wheel, shot one eyeball into the rear view mirror upon hearing my sister giggling uncontrollably. There I was, in mid-sketch with my fly undone and my Underoos exposed. Failing to see the humor of me imitating a Catholic priest with an open fly only moments after receiving the Body of Christ, she took a multi ton vehicle from 35mph to a dead stop in the blink of an eye.
Before I could even zip up, she catapulted over the front seat like an Olympic high jumper to get at me. I don't remember much after that, except for my sister crying and my mother chanting, "I'll let it all hang out!" over and over as she hit me. Needless to say, I wouldn't be watching Benny again for quite some time. However, there is one thing that I would never stop doing.
I would never stop laughing.
A sense of humor is one of the most important weapons in your arsenal as you move down the path. The world's a pretty funny place, and I learned early on how valuable the healing power of laughter can be. Despite my mother's objection to the Sunday morning Benny show, she actually had a keen sense of humor, and that's one of the more positive traits my sister and I inherited from her as we grew up.
I've learned to see the humor in all things. Having traversed some dark paths in my life, I can say with certainty that laughter has been a shining light in the blackness. It generates a significant amount of positive energy, which helps to maintain the balance of the soul. It has kept me youthful, energetic, and Zen.
When was the last time you laughed really hard? I mean, really hard, like can't breathe, tears streaming down the face, hard? If you can't recall, then it's been too long, and you need to laugh. Right now. There's plenty of funny material to be found out there, from the intelligent musings of the Monty Python troupe, all the way down to the vulgar diatribes of Katt Williams. There's something funny for everyone. Regardless of how difficult you believe your life is, a good laugh will make it a bit less difficult.
Even hearing someone else's laughter can be healing. I recently heard my copilot's true laughter, the 'from the gut' laughter, that filled the room as we watched a stand up comedian on TV. It was the first time I had heard this from her soul, and I can still hear it in my head even now, several months later. You know what that does?
It puts a smile on my face. Makes my world a little brighter.
Listen to the laughter from others, especially children. Find the laughter within yourself, and let it out. Let your soul be nourished by the humor of the 'Verse.
Perhaps you could even watch some Benny Hill. Just make sure mom is not around.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Places And Movements
"When I find a Place, I definitely feel the presence of God. Be it alone on a mountaintop, or surrounded by noisy tourists in the dampness of the Roslyn Chapel. It's like no other peace. No other happiness."
The above quote is paraphrased from a recent Facebook entry, and I wanted to pause to reflect on this moment of Zen. There's a certain interconnectedness that binds us all together in the 'Verse. On a molecular level, we all share the same building blocks of our existence. The chair you're seated in, the ground, the trees. We're all related to them, a part of them. They are extensions of ourselves, and we extensions of them. So when we come upon one of these external Places, we are in fact finding the calm within our soul. The eye of the storm, so to speak. With so much distraction and noise surrounding us on a daily basis, finding a Place becomes a necessity (even if we aren't consciously searching for one), so that we may rebalance the self.
However, maybe it's not so much about 'finding' as it is about 'allowing' ourselves to be in that Place. There is no external force exerting its will upon us, no revealing of a special Place for the unworthy. We are the ones who move the chess pieces of our lives. We are responsible for all that is around us. Finding a Place is simply our desire for the soul to take a deep breath and allow itself to be in the moment.
As I stood atop a mountain recently and gazed across the valley below, I allowed myself to be in a Place. I acknowledged the interconnectedness of me to the rustling trees, the warm sun, the silence of the mountaintop. 'God' was not an absentee landlord. 'He' was there as I was there. 'God' is us. We can create these 'places of zen' whenever we see fit, whenever the soul needs to breathe. We don't have to go anywhere. We only have to open ourselves to what is around us. We are not a stray piece of thread, as we often feel, but part of a rich, multicolored tapestry that binds the 'Verse together. Right now many people stand within a Place, yet they can't see it. As quoted from "The Abyss":
"You have to look with better eyes than that."
The Place stays with you when you move, and the only direction you can move in this world is forward. I've been witness to a lot of movement as of late. People have died. Some have gotten a divorce, others got engaged. Forward movement happens, and if you are standing still in your life, then you are not living. You are existing. Given the amazingly short amount of time we have on this planet, one would think we'd all be a bit more motivated in our actions. Sadly, this is not the case, as I see people standing still all the time. I was one of those people, but not anymore. I now move forward. I have wisdom to contribute to the world, stories I want to tell. To not share these ideas and concepts, this imagination, is not to be honorable.
It's not about ego, here. You have to remove that from the equation, regardless of how hard that may seem. I'm not opposed to seeing my name up in lights, or cashing the checks from my screenwriting services, but it's not the driving force. It's a responsibility to share your talents, whatever they may be. To do this unselfishly. This is what keeps you interconnected. This is what moves you forward. Once you have allowed yourself to be in a Place, there is much to hear from the 'Verse. As I moved along the path around the mountain, the trees had this to say:
Give of your time.
Give of your talents.
Give of yourself.
Things aren't really as complex as we make it out to be.
Do not be the rock in the middle of the stream. Be the stream that moves around the rock. When you get to the end of your life, even then don't look back. We can't go back. To do so would be to live in a place that no longer exists.
Keep moving forward. Into the Light. Into the Place.
The above quote is paraphrased from a recent Facebook entry, and I wanted to pause to reflect on this moment of Zen. There's a certain interconnectedness that binds us all together in the 'Verse. On a molecular level, we all share the same building blocks of our existence. The chair you're seated in, the ground, the trees. We're all related to them, a part of them. They are extensions of ourselves, and we extensions of them. So when we come upon one of these external Places, we are in fact finding the calm within our soul. The eye of the storm, so to speak. With so much distraction and noise surrounding us on a daily basis, finding a Place becomes a necessity (even if we aren't consciously searching for one), so that we may rebalance the self.
However, maybe it's not so much about 'finding' as it is about 'allowing' ourselves to be in that Place. There is no external force exerting its will upon us, no revealing of a special Place for the unworthy. We are the ones who move the chess pieces of our lives. We are responsible for all that is around us. Finding a Place is simply our desire for the soul to take a deep breath and allow itself to be in the moment.
As I stood atop a mountain recently and gazed across the valley below, I allowed myself to be in a Place. I acknowledged the interconnectedness of me to the rustling trees, the warm sun, the silence of the mountaintop. 'God' was not an absentee landlord. 'He' was there as I was there. 'God' is us. We can create these 'places of zen' whenever we see fit, whenever the soul needs to breathe. We don't have to go anywhere. We only have to open ourselves to what is around us. We are not a stray piece of thread, as we often feel, but part of a rich, multicolored tapestry that binds the 'Verse together. Right now many people stand within a Place, yet they can't see it. As quoted from "The Abyss":
"You have to look with better eyes than that."
The Place stays with you when you move, and the only direction you can move in this world is forward. I've been witness to a lot of movement as of late. People have died. Some have gotten a divorce, others got engaged. Forward movement happens, and if you are standing still in your life, then you are not living. You are existing. Given the amazingly short amount of time we have on this planet, one would think we'd all be a bit more motivated in our actions. Sadly, this is not the case, as I see people standing still all the time. I was one of those people, but not anymore. I now move forward. I have wisdom to contribute to the world, stories I want to tell. To not share these ideas and concepts, this imagination, is not to be honorable.
It's not about ego, here. You have to remove that from the equation, regardless of how hard that may seem. I'm not opposed to seeing my name up in lights, or cashing the checks from my screenwriting services, but it's not the driving force. It's a responsibility to share your talents, whatever they may be. To do this unselfishly. This is what keeps you interconnected. This is what moves you forward. Once you have allowed yourself to be in a Place, there is much to hear from the 'Verse. As I moved along the path around the mountain, the trees had this to say:
Give of your time.
Give of your talents.
Give of yourself.
Things aren't really as complex as we make it out to be.
Do not be the rock in the middle of the stream. Be the stream that moves around the rock. When you get to the end of your life, even then don't look back. We can't go back. To do so would be to live in a place that no longer exists.
Keep moving forward. Into the Light. Into the Place.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Humbleness In The Face Of God
As a society of achievers, we've certainly have amassed a large amount of swag to show for our accomplishments. Certificates, degrees, plaques, awards, medals, trophies, new cars, t-shirts, light sabers. These 'life marker' trinkets serve as a visual reminder of your good deeds, but they also can act as ego inflaters, which then prevents us from doing work in the here and now because we're too busy running our mouths about the great things we've done in the past.
"A sound head, an honest heart, and a humble spirit are the three best guides through time and to eternity."
- Sir Walter Scott
As a western society, we've definitely lost the art of being humble, that is, if we ever really had it to begin with. The 'look how great I am' mentality permeates every aspect of our culture. If sports figures, politicians, and celebrities aren't talking about themselves, then they're hardly talking at all. Strutting one's peacock feathers has become an acceptable (and unfortunately necessary) way of moving ahead in this world. Doing the actual work, good work, never really gets mentioned. It's just sort of assumed, because all we get to see is the end result. The glitz. Never the process.
If you want to know who's got the most toys at a party, it's usually the person with the loudest mouth. Of course, the moment you start believing your own press is usually the same moment where everyone else now believes you're full of shit, and then you're left wondering why the same thing that worked before no longer works now. I can almost see actress Nia Vardalos sitting at home endlessly pouring over the box office receipts of her two most recent cinematic failures and wondering why they weren't big hits like her previous "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".
Life is not about the end result. That, as you already know, is death. We turn to dust, and as well made as some of these prefabricated life markers are, they too will one day become dust. Life is about living in the now, and doing the work on a moment to moment basis. A person who stands around chatting about their laundry list of accomplishments is someone who lives in the past. A person living in the present, actively living in the present, has no time to brag about where they've been. They're too focused on where they are.
The real joy of living comes from actually doing the work, whatever that work may be. Writers write. Builders build. Bob the Builder, for example, doesn't waste and entire episode marveling over his past animated constructions. He's too damn busy with his current project. That little guy gets more done in ten minutes than most of us do all day. Talk about work ethic!
"Are we gonna do it, or are we gonna talk about it?"
- "Streets of Fire"
There's something to be said for a 'pat on the back' over a job well done, but it shouldn't be the driving force behind doing the job in the first place. I've always loved the irony of celebrities who proudly display their awards (Oscars, Emmys, etc.) in the bathrooms of their homes.
Humbleness is the true key to success. To remain humble in the face of God is to remain humble within the self. We are 'God'. We look in the mirror and it is us looking back. We control all that we do. Live in the moments of now and not in those of the past. There's no one back there but you. Your best work is the one you have yet to create, right here, in the present. Be less concerned about the ego and more concerned about the passion that drives you.
Yes, that Oscar you won for your last blockbuster film is very nice, now use it to prop open a window and get some fresh air into your lungs.
You have work to do.
"A sound head, an honest heart, and a humble spirit are the three best guides through time and to eternity."
- Sir Walter Scott
As a western society, we've definitely lost the art of being humble, that is, if we ever really had it to begin with. The 'look how great I am' mentality permeates every aspect of our culture. If sports figures, politicians, and celebrities aren't talking about themselves, then they're hardly talking at all. Strutting one's peacock feathers has become an acceptable (and unfortunately necessary) way of moving ahead in this world. Doing the actual work, good work, never really gets mentioned. It's just sort of assumed, because all we get to see is the end result. The glitz. Never the process.
If you want to know who's got the most toys at a party, it's usually the person with the loudest mouth. Of course, the moment you start believing your own press is usually the same moment where everyone else now believes you're full of shit, and then you're left wondering why the same thing that worked before no longer works now. I can almost see actress Nia Vardalos sitting at home endlessly pouring over the box office receipts of her two most recent cinematic failures and wondering why they weren't big hits like her previous "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".
Life is not about the end result. That, as you already know, is death. We turn to dust, and as well made as some of these prefabricated life markers are, they too will one day become dust. Life is about living in the now, and doing the work on a moment to moment basis. A person who stands around chatting about their laundry list of accomplishments is someone who lives in the past. A person living in the present, actively living in the present, has no time to brag about where they've been. They're too focused on where they are.
The real joy of living comes from actually doing the work, whatever that work may be. Writers write. Builders build. Bob the Builder, for example, doesn't waste and entire episode marveling over his past animated constructions. He's too damn busy with his current project. That little guy gets more done in ten minutes than most of us do all day. Talk about work ethic!
"Are we gonna do it, or are we gonna talk about it?"
- "Streets of Fire"
There's something to be said for a 'pat on the back' over a job well done, but it shouldn't be the driving force behind doing the job in the first place. I've always loved the irony of celebrities who proudly display their awards (Oscars, Emmys, etc.) in the bathrooms of their homes.
Humbleness is the true key to success. To remain humble in the face of God is to remain humble within the self. We are 'God'. We look in the mirror and it is us looking back. We control all that we do. Live in the moments of now and not in those of the past. There's no one back there but you. Your best work is the one you have yet to create, right here, in the present. Be less concerned about the ego and more concerned about the passion that drives you.
Yes, that Oscar you won for your last blockbuster film is very nice, now use it to prop open a window and get some fresh air into your lungs.
You have work to do.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Is No My Job!
You're stuck, right? Wondering how you got where you are? Why did life dump so much manure on your doorstep? Yeah, I know. Been where you are. Twenty years of wondering what the hell happened.
"Twenty years now
Where'd they go?
Twenty years
I don't know
I sit and I wonder sometimes
Where they've gone"
- Bob Seger
There's certainly a lot of finger pointing going on, nowadays. I'm not sure at what point in our evolution we stopped accepting personal responsibility and started blaming everyone else, but it's having a detrimental effect on our souls, and this prevents us from moving forward in life.
You think we would have learned from our childhood days of chanting, "Not me!" when accused of events you knew you were guilty of, but instead we've managed to transfer our childhood fear of getting in trouble into full blown adulthood, where "Not me!" absolves you of responsibility from just about anything ranging from bad customer service on up to criminal homicide, and then some.
Accepting personal responsibility is one of the easiest things to do, yet one of the hardest things to live by, mainly because there's no one there to hold you accountable for your actions. They're too busy pointing fingers at other people, and if no one else is doing it, why should you? Fortunately, the age old parental adage about jumping off a bridge if all your friends are doing it still applies here, so let's make this real simple:
You are completely responsible for you.
While I did use the word 'simple', I'll be first to say that it did take a very long time before I could fully comprehend the above statement and implement its meaning into my life on a daily basis, but I did it. I know it's within the realm of possibility, especially when you come to understand just how to accept personal responsibility in all that you do.
Let's first clear the air by listing the things that didn't put you where you are at this very moment in your life:
"God", Fate, Destiny (or any other supposed 'divine' force)
Family
Friends
Spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend
Career
Economic conditions
Good luck, bad luck, dumb luck, or any other kind of luck!
You're where you are because of the choices you've made. That's it. Everything you've done up to now you've opted to do. The question is, were they effective choices you've made? Perhaps, perhaps not. Forrest Landry, an old mentor of mine, had this to say:
"All levels of self, self-thought, and self-feeling must be known, acknowledged, and accepted to make effective choices."
I could spend years breaking down this statement into the essence of its meaning and still probably not scratch the surface, so let's just say that accepting personal responsibility is a daunting task. However, it is a necessary task if the soul is to truly grow in this life. Once you start taking the heat for your actions instead of giving it out, you'll realize that you can change anything you want in you life.
Anything.
This is an amazing sense of empowerment, like waking up one morning and finding out you're Superman. You wouldn't hesitate for a second to go outside and fly up into the heavens, would you? So why are you sitting there blaming everyone else for your troubles?
You made yourself fat.
You made yourself poor.
You made yourself alone.
You made yourself addicted.
You've made plenty of negative choices. Now make a positive choice, an effective choice. Feed the soul. Light the fires of motivation. Make yourself fly.
It is your job, and yours alone.
"Twenty years now
Where'd they go?
Twenty years
I don't know
I sit and I wonder sometimes
Where they've gone"
- Bob Seger
There's certainly a lot of finger pointing going on, nowadays. I'm not sure at what point in our evolution we stopped accepting personal responsibility and started blaming everyone else, but it's having a detrimental effect on our souls, and this prevents us from moving forward in life.
You think we would have learned from our childhood days of chanting, "Not me!" when accused of events you knew you were guilty of, but instead we've managed to transfer our childhood fear of getting in trouble into full blown adulthood, where "Not me!" absolves you of responsibility from just about anything ranging from bad customer service on up to criminal homicide, and then some.
Accepting personal responsibility is one of the easiest things to do, yet one of the hardest things to live by, mainly because there's no one there to hold you accountable for your actions. They're too busy pointing fingers at other people, and if no one else is doing it, why should you? Fortunately, the age old parental adage about jumping off a bridge if all your friends are doing it still applies here, so let's make this real simple:
You are completely responsible for you.
While I did use the word 'simple', I'll be first to say that it did take a very long time before I could fully comprehend the above statement and implement its meaning into my life on a daily basis, but I did it. I know it's within the realm of possibility, especially when you come to understand just how to accept personal responsibility in all that you do.
Let's first clear the air by listing the things that didn't put you where you are at this very moment in your life:
"God", Fate, Destiny (or any other supposed 'divine' force)
Family
Friends
Spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend
Career
Economic conditions
Good luck, bad luck, dumb luck, or any other kind of luck!
You're where you are because of the choices you've made. That's it. Everything you've done up to now you've opted to do. The question is, were they effective choices you've made? Perhaps, perhaps not. Forrest Landry, an old mentor of mine, had this to say:
"All levels of self, self-thought, and self-feeling must be known, acknowledged, and accepted to make effective choices."
I could spend years breaking down this statement into the essence of its meaning and still probably not scratch the surface, so let's just say that accepting personal responsibility is a daunting task. However, it is a necessary task if the soul is to truly grow in this life. Once you start taking the heat for your actions instead of giving it out, you'll realize that you can change anything you want in you life.
Anything.
This is an amazing sense of empowerment, like waking up one morning and finding out you're Superman. You wouldn't hesitate for a second to go outside and fly up into the heavens, would you? So why are you sitting there blaming everyone else for your troubles?
You made yourself fat.
You made yourself poor.
You made yourself alone.
You made yourself addicted.
You've made plenty of negative choices. Now make a positive choice, an effective choice. Feed the soul. Light the fires of motivation. Make yourself fly.
It is your job, and yours alone.
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