What's In A Name?

Indiana Jones. Buckaroo Banzai. Doc Savage. Allen Quartermain. Jake Speed. James Bond. Dirk Pitt.

These are all names that came before Honor Knight. Truth be told, I've always harbored a secret desire to be an action hero, as the above list of names might indicate. A lack of positive male roles models in my life would lead me to follow those brave men's exploits upon the silver screen. I would look up to them and learn from them over the course of my childhood. Even if I wasn't born an action hero, there was no reason I couldn't live like one.

The names we are given at birth don't represent who we are as adults. They don't define us because we have yet to define ourselves in this life. These names are simply projections of how others see us at the time. "He looks like a William." "She looks a Jane." There's a lot of juniors, II's and III's, the product of selfish individuals who want to live forever through the family bloodline. Most of us move through life without a second thought to our given birth names, unless of course it's frequently misspelled or unpronounceable.

I have held three names thus far in the definition of the self. The first was my birth name when my parents were still married. After their divorce, my last name was changed to my mother's maiden name, and stayed that way until Honor Knight came along. I'm not sure of the exact origins of this name, or when it first entered my collective consciousness. As a writer I've toyed with various different pen names, as my mother's last name turned out to be one of those classic Polish names that turn your tongue into knots just trying to pronounce it. Even worse if you're trying to spell it. Regardless of what I came up with, none of them ever felt truly right for me, or looked really good upon the page.

There's something to be said for a cool sounding name. One that instantly conjures an image of a person. One that's memorable, and rolls smoothly off the tongue. Say the name "Indiana Jones", and we instantly know what this person looks like. We also know what he stands for (global treasure hunting) and what to expect from him (whip cracking adventure). As a screenwriter, I spend a fair amount of time crafting the names of my characters, as I feel the name alone often defines the person. Sometimes I'll even come up with just the name of the character, then write a whole story around that.

The name "Honor Knight" exists for reasons other than avoidance of a tongue twisting last name, or how 'cool' it looks on the page. HONOR stands for being honorable in all that I say and do. I spent 20 years trapped in a bad downward spiral where I wasn't honorable, until I finally crashed. While that journey is a musing for another time, I will say that through such an experience I've radically changed the way I live my life, and I use the name to represent how I live in this moment. It's a matter of personal responsibility. I can't use the name if I can't live up to its meaning. Life is far too short to live on both sides of the fence.

KNIGHT represents the noble warrior, the swordsman, the servant, and the protector. These are qualities that define my soul. I look after the people in my life, and would happily sacrifice myself for their continued growth. I wear metaphorical armor in this challenging world, but the sword is real, as my 20 plus years of wielding a blade fuels my warrior spirit and calms my active mind.

Honor Knight exists to define a life that is independent of other people's projections and expectations. We only get one go around this time out, so there is no reason why it shouldn't be as you see fit. Some people are still wary of my new moniker, others deem it pretentious or immature. One person found it so hysterically funny she laughed in my face for a good five minutes while on a first (and last) date. However, on the flip side there are those that know me only by this name, and those that know just how well it suits my soul in this moment.

The bottom line is that it does suit me, and I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I strive with every breath to live up to its meaning, to live with honor.

Find the name within your soul. Do not settle for what others have chosen for you. For every "Tom Smith" or "Jane Woods" there's a "Dances with Wolves" or "Spits with Camels" waiting to get out. To find your name is to find the courage within to define yourself in this world.

Go find it. The world can use more action heroes.