I Am...

"You cannot be who and what you are unless you have a lifestyle, both internally and externally, that is designed to support that definition of self."
- Phillip C. McGraw

I want to muse for a few moments on the nature of identity and how it affects the paths we choose in this life. Aside from the previously mentioned birth names, there are many other external ways in which we define ourselves. Through our work, through our family, through the ones we love. Some people are content to be defined by these external sources and simply exist in this world. If one takes on the position of a police officer, one usually takes on all the stereotypical trappings that go with it; the bad relationships, the taste for doughnuts, the emotional detachment that prevents the growth of meaningful relationships. How many times have you experienced this type of personality in a TV show or film? Far too many to count, I bet.

One must peer deep into the abyss of the soul in order to effectively define the self and their place in this world. Choices must be made. Hard, honest choices that one must have the courage to make. All of us possess this courage, but are either unaware they have it (through external conditioning), or too scared to use it. A former mentor of mine once said:

"All levels of self, self-thinking, and self-feeling must be known, acknowledged, and accepted to make effective choices."

How often do we consider this when choosing a wardrobe for the day? The capacity for change comes down to a matter of commitment. How bad do you want to change? Are you ready to back up those words? Wanting should lead to action, not more wanting.

"Deeds, not words."
- "Megaforce"

Honest change takes honest commitment. I've only encountered a handful of well defined souls in my short time on this planet. Former animal expert Steve Irwin comes to mind. Here was a completely defined human being who knew the role he was to play on this earth, and he knew it early on in his abbreviated life. He believed, he REALLY believed, he was put here to carry forth the message of the importance of conservation to everyone, and he did so with every last fiber of his being, even on the day his life ended.

There are many who say that people don't fundamentally change, and for the most part that's true. We are conditioned to accept our lot in life, without ever realizing that we alone have the ability to change our destiny. How did the Eagles put it?

"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key."

There are many catalysts for change when one is ready to define the self. You only have to sit up and pay attention. These past two years have presented many such catalysts so I could finally step up and fly my ship straight and true. One example would be the 2008 film, "Iron Man", specifically the last line of dialogue before the credits. Here's a story of a man who spent his entire life talking out of both sides of his mouth. Lying to himself and everyone around him. Through a series of fantastic events, he finds his soul has been changed forever. The 'cloth was lifted', and he saw his true place in this world. By the end of the story he had became a better man. He could have easily kept his secret from the world, but instead he made one final choice, an effective choice, that would forever seal his destiny. He said:

"The truth is, I am Iron Man."

What an incredibly defining statement. To honestly bare your soul in the face of all who stand before you. To be defined. When I heard that, I knew the time had finally come for me to find the courage and commitment within to define myself in this world.

I am Honor Knight. Who do you want to be?