Say A Prayer To The Cinema Gods

I was raised in a Roman Catholic household. That meant eight years of Catholic schooling, church every Sunday, Christmas, Easter, and even a stint as an altar boy (unmolested, as far as I know). Throughout this entire experience, I never once felt the 'presence of God' within me or within the church. What I did feel was boredom, usually brought upon by the mindless repetition of prayers and rituals that held absolutely no meaning for me. Faith only has power when you believe in something, so all this standing, kneeling, and chanting seemed rather pointless.

As I grew older and slowly escaped my family's religious grasp, I knew I would have to seek out my own set of 'isms' in the 'Verse that I could actually follow without falling half asleep. In my spiritual travels, I eventually found my way to the belief systems of the Eastern religions (Zen, Buddhism, etc.). These beliefs were less concerned about 'God' as an external entity and more about him as an internal one. We are all 'God' in a sense, having complete control over our own destinies; our souls interconnected with all that surrounds us. A Zen of 'oneness'.

These tenets were far more appealing since they universal in scope, not being constrained to the confines of a 'holy' building, or a rigid set of rules to follow. It was less organized and more organic. I've even adopted a few Pagan beliefs with regards to maintaining a symbiotic relationship with nature. Suddenly a simple walk amongst the trees could become a deeply spiritual experience.

However, as much as I enjoyed the Zen 'tree hugging', I knew I would also need a place to turn when one needs help processing the daily challenges of life. There was no priest, sage, or weekly sermon that I could draw from, and the trees can only say so much (Ents excluded, of course). Where then, was I to turn when I sought understanding, growth, courage, and patience? What religion lie out there that could validate my mortal existence? The answer, not surprisingly, was a) simple, and b) had been with me the whole time:

Film. Motion Pictures. Moving images of dancing light.

This was my religion, my 'ism' in a world of doubt. The screenplay as my scripture, the theater as my church. I realized that I actually had been worshiping about once a week for all those years, just not in a conventional house of worship. I noticed that whenever I needed answers to the challenges I faced, I would turn to film. More often than not, those answers would provide me with more insight than any mindless hour I would spend inside a Catholic church, or 'confessing' to a priest who was probably only half listening at the time.

Film speaks to me, and I listen. It moves me to tears, gives me strength, and offers me comfort in times of need. I am at peace inside a theater. I am home. It is one of my 'sacred' places. Took me a while to wrap my head around the concept that film could be just as valid a spiritual belief as any of the 'organized' religions out there, but when some people believe a dude can blow a horn and aliens will descend to Earth for a UFO pickup, I suppose anything really is possible in this 'Verse. I believe religion, like film, is simply a creation of man. One is not more or less important than the other, as they both can offer solace to help move us through this world.

Film is an integral part of my self definition. It's always been with me, and will continue to be with me, to guide me, as long as I take breath. I cannot ignore what inspires and gives me hope. While there are certainly cheaper religions to follow, I feel the cost of a ticket is nominal considering the return I receive on my investment. Hell, even the lousy films have something worthwhile to say, even if that message is: don't make a movie like this one!

Every weekend I know exactly where to find my faith. It's usually in the center of the row, right before a big white screen, and I never have to kneel. I say a prayer to the cinema gods, knowing we are both equal in this 'Verse. The storyteller and the audience, forever entwined within the tapestry...

Go find yours.